Low Carb Living

Low carb menu, scary movie and x-rays

2012-02-13T04:09:00.000-08:00

- Unpotato salad
- Pork bbq with home made low carb bbq sauce
- Cheese omelet
- Shepherd's pie
- Low carb brownie with peanut butter frosting
- Beef stick (two carbs)
- BBQ pork rinds

We went and saw The Woman in Black last night. It was pretty scary and pretty good. Angie is such a Harry Potter buff, so we just had to go see it to see what Daniel Radcliffe is up to these days. We were referring to him as Harry throughout the movie. He will always be Harry to us. I had to use the bathroom during the movie and I made Angie go with me. I stayed on plan and smuggled in some low carb munchies for me to enjoy during the movie.

I'm going in for a hip-to-toe x-ray today if anybody at Radiology answers the phone. There is a specific technician that my surgeon insists on me seeing and she was out of town all week. Today is Monday and my appointment with him is on Wednesday, so I really have to get in today to see her. Her colleague told me she should be in today and tomorrow, so I'm hopeful. My surgeon will hold up a straight ruler or something like that from my middle of my hip aiming downward, seeing where my leg now falls to see if it was successful enough to not require more work or not. Before this last surgery, my leg did not even fall in the range of the ruler at all. It was way off to the left!

I'm really banking on the fact that my knee will be so well-aligned now that I will not require a second surgery. If I do need another surgery, this one will be pretty much the same, but slightly less-severe, due to the fact that it will be on my tibia this time. The tibia is smaller than the femur, so I'm guessing the healing time would be faster. Same basic process, though... Remove a wedge of bone from my hip, saw my leg bone in half, insert the hip bone from my hip into the leg to make it more aligned, holding it there with nuts and bolts and a plate... Aka open-wedge osteotomy. Let's all send out good thoughts to the universe that I will not require this second surgery, but if I do, at least I know I'm in the best hands ever. I think my surgeon who performed the surgery is top-notch and I trust him more than any doc I've ever come across. I see him on Wednesday, so I'm excited/nervous/anxious about that. Where is the valium when I need it?

Low carb menu

2012-02-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

- Lemon pound cake with peanut butter frosting
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup with diced onions
- Few bites of pork with low carb bbq sauce
- Cheese omelet
- Brownie with peanut butter frosting

Low carb menu

2012-02-11T10:06:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties with a cheese omelet
- Pistachios with some swiss cheese slices
- Cauliflower and broccoli with cheese
- Pork bbq with low carb bbq sauce
- Lemon cake with peanut butter frosting
- Two sausage patties

Low carb menu

2012-02-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

- Sausage, egg and cheese on an oopsie roll, grilled
- Cheesy hamburger and broccoli casserole
- Low carb lemon cake (1.5 pieces) with low carb peanut butter frosting on half
- Two sausage patties with a cheese omelet

Low carb menu

2012-02-09T06:56:00.001-08:00

- Two pieces of zucchini lasagna
- Plain oopsie roll
- Unpotato salad
- Sausage, egg and cheese on an oopsie, grilled in the panini press
- Walnuts and pistachios (about an ounce)

Headed to the chiro tomorrow. I've been attempting at-home adjustments, so this is a plus! We are also taking the pug to the vet for his rabies shot. After that, we are going to see the new dolphin movie with my mom.

Low carb menu

2012-02-08T00:33:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- Cheese omelet
- Unpotato salad
- Two scotcharoos
- Sugar free jello
- Zucchini lasagna with a buttered oopsie roll
- Cheesy hamburger broccoli casserole

Low carb menu

2012-02-07T10:55:00.001-08:00

- Sugar free raspberry jello
- Turkey/ham/tomato/cheese panini on an oopsie roll with bacon on the side
- Two low carb pancakes, plain
- Zucchini lasagna with an oopsie roll with butter and parmesan cheese

I weighed in this morning at 200.8. A little bit down from last week, which was 201.0. Considering we even went to the Chinese buffet, I will take it!

Low carb menu

2012-02-05T21:13:00.000-08:00

- Four parm-breaded chicken fingers with low carb honey mustard
- Broccoli and cauliflower with a little shredded cheddar
- Two low carb pancakes with one sausage patty
- Three scotcharoos
- Four strawberries
- Two and a half hot dogs with tomato slices on an oopsie roll
- Three chicken fingers

Low carb menu

2012-02-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

- Two poached eggs on buttered oopsie rolls
- Low carb lemon cake with low carb lemon frosting
- Three parm-breaded chicken fingers with low carb honey mustard
- Four whole deviled eggs

Low carb menu

2012-02-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

- Chinese buffet (mostly low carb options, but you never know about those sauces)
- Three scotcharoos
- Turkey, ham, bacon, cheese, tomato panini on an oopsie roll with mayo and low carb honey mustard
- 1.5 chicken fingers, breaded in parm with low carb honey mustard

The scotcharoos are too good! Beware!

Low carb menu

2012-02-03T07:10:00.000-08:00

- Two pork chops, breaded with parm
- Broccoli and cauliflower with a little cheddar cheese
- Two deviled eggs (one whole)
- Turkey, ham, bacon, bacon, cheese panini on an oopsie roll, grilled and dipped in low carb honey mustard
- A spoon of natural peanut butter

Low carb menu

2012-02-02T12:15:00.000-08:00

- Two pieces of ham/hot dog/broccoli quiche
- Half a piece of bacon
- Three low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup
- Four deviled eggs (two whole ones)

Donate to Linda Sue!

2012-02-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

I get 99% of my recipes from Linda Sue's recipe site.

Even if it's just a couple dollars, please consider making a donation to keep her site running.

She is an inspiration to all of us with her recipe site and she never asks for anything in return. She has devoted countless hours to testing recipes, rating recipes, taking photos and presenting us with invaluable information.

I've made a couple donations in the past and my gf and I donated $25 more tonight. It's a small price to pay for all of the terrific information that Linda has given us.

Thank you, Linda!

Low carb menu

2012-02-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

- Pork chop breaded with parm
- Dottie's green bean casserole with ground beef added
- Meatloaf
- Cheese omelet
- Lemon pound cake with low carb lemon frosting
- Meatloaf on an oopsie roll with tomato slices, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup

Weigh-in: 201.0

That is a little over a one pound gain from January 1, which sucks. I could say that I've built up muscle due to working out and I could say that I feel like I'm retaining water, but instead, I'm just going to own it. I know I'm a little bit bloated for whatever reason because when I woke up and weighed in, my rings were tight when they are usally not tight at all. Angie got me three rose gold rings, a pair of rose gold earrings and three rose gold bangles for Christmas when she returned the earrings which were not staying in tact. I made out like a bandit! I am back to doing weekly Wednesday weigh-ins, which will be a good thing, I hope. I have also gone to the movies a few times this month and eaten popcorn each time. I've eaten probably what amounts to a small serving (definitely not a medium), but it all kind of adds up, I think. I also think I need to up my water intake because sometimes I think I'm just thirsty and I eat something. I will say, though, that I do think some of it must be muscle because my jeans feel looser than at the beginning of the month. Like, a lot looser. I will be in a size 10 soon I think! I think I should start doing body shots each month for a good comparison. Maybe I will have Angie get out her camera!

I went for a walk with my girlfriend today with the dogs and then I did a ton of cooking, but that means that the heel of my foot (of my leg that I got surgery on) has been numb. I made oopsie rolls, deviled eggs, low carb honey mustard, a ton of low carb pancakes and I still have to make chicken because it's thawed out and ready to go. I'm used to cooking up a ton of stuff in one day so that I don't have to cook every day, but I think that I need to work more on giving my leg more breaks. Rest is a tough thing for an impatient person! Angie wants to give me a foot rub later to help with my circulation and she gives the best massages ever, I'm telling you. She gave me some Burt's Bees lotions and they work so great for that purpose.

As Harry would say, Onward and downward!

Low carb menu

2012-01-31T05:33:00.000-08:00

"If you wonder what you were doing in the past, look at your body; to know what will happen to you in the future, look at your mind." ~Dalai Lama

- Parmesan breaded pork chop with low carb ketchup
- Dottie's green bean casserole with hamburger added
- Two low carb brownies with peanut butter frosting
- Two pieces of meatloaf
- Another pork chop with broccoli and cauliflower with a little cheddar cheese

My girlfriend got my car running again! We took my car over to Autozone and they said my battery would not hold a charge, so we got a replacement and she put it in along with some coolant. I'm too impressed and happy to be back on the road again.

Weigh-in tomorrow because it's the first of the month. I feel like I have lost some weight this month.

Low carb menu

2012-01-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties with three scrambled eggs
- Two pieces of meatloaf
- Ham/hot dog/broccoli quiche
- Pork chop

Low carb menu minus the popcorn

2012-01-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

- Two tuna patties with two tomato slices, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Popcorn
- Two tuna patties on an oopsie roll with mayo, low carb ketchup, lettuce, tomato and cheese
- Ham/broccoli/red pepper/cauliflower cheesy casserole
- Two low carb brownies with peanut butter frosting

We saw The Descendants. It was heart-wrenching but good.

Low carb menu

2012-01-28T08:56:00.000-08:00

- Three pieces of low carb pizza
- Ham/broccoli/red pepper/cauliflower cheesy casserole
- Two tuna patties with two tomato slices, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Low carb brownie with low carb peanut butter frosting
- More ham and cheesy casserole

Low carb menu

2012-01-27T09:40:00.000-08:00

- Ham/broccoli/red pepper/cauliflower cheesy casserole
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with parm and ranch
- Three tuna patties with an oopsie roll, cheese, tomato, lettuce, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Low carb lemon pound cake with low carb lemon frosting
- Chef salad with egg, ham, celery, red peppers, ranch and cheese

Vadim, you have found my blog before! It's been a while and you have a lot going on, so I'm not surprised if you don't remember... We were both on the blog roll for Jimmy Moore's low carb menu blog... That is how I found you! It was years ago, but I'm sure you remember... Along with Shezug and Oct, too! You left me comments over the years, so I know you have been to my blog before, but it just has changed format and my pic is different on my blogger profile.

Low carb menu

2012-01-26T09:25:00.000-08:00

- Two tuna patties
- Three pieces of low carb pizza with ranch
- Lemon pound cake with low carb lemon frosting
- Three scrambled eggs with a sausage patty
- Two tuna patties

Low carb menu

2012-01-25T11:45:00.001-08:00

- Four chicken strips breaded with parm dipped in low carb honey mustard
- Two tuna patties with cheese on an oopsie roll with lettuce, tomato, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Ham/broccoli/red pepper/cauliflower cheesy casserole
- Low carb lemon pound cake with low carb lemon frosting (new recipe to come!)
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with sausage, ham, pepperoni, and red peppers

I forgot to mention, last week my nurse told me that it's too early to be doing much exercise on my knee and that I really need to wait for it to be fully healed. Therefore, my relationship with Jillian Michaels has been put on a temporary hold for now. I was bummed, but it's understandable since I'm still in pain with my knee. I'm sure some pain will always be there, but this was pretty excruciating.

I celebrated my 5 month anniversary of my open wedge osteotomy and also SMOKE FREE for five months, so that is pretty amazing. My chiropractor is amazed not only at my weight loss, but how straight my legs are now. It's like I'm in a whole new body! She loves how I lost the weight, too, and she is completely grain-free herself and has dropped fifty pounds. I go in for x-rays soon and then February 15th is my big appointment to determine if I need a second surgery. Wish me luck! This one has just been so successful, but also a huge pain in the ass being non-weight bearing on my knee for months on end, so either way is good news in my book.

If I do need the surgery, I will probably end up with even better, more-even legs. We will see what the doc says.

Last time I left his office on December 1, I was horrified because I wasn't walking on my cane yet, but now I'm up and around and walking around without my cane half the time. It's amazing at how straight my knees look! I found a picture from 7th grade, and I even had one crooked leg in that photo due to the surgery-gone-wrong the year before. When you have one crooked (and therefore too short) leg, it really takes a toll on your spine and such, so my chiro can't be more excited that I'm so much better.

She is largely against "medical doctors," but she has deemed this sugery as very succesful and necessary for an issue like mine. She is thrilled that I have lost about 110 lbs and am SO CLOSE to "normal weight," too. But nobody is as happy as I am.

Low carb menu

2012-01-24T10:37:00.000-08:00

- Three scrambled eggs with two sausage patties
- Chicken tenderloins, breaded with parm
- One and a half low carb cheesecake brownies
- Tuna patty
- Chef salad with ham, chicken, red pepper, celery, cheese and ranch

I added diced red peppers and some minced onion with the tuna patties this time. They are really good.

Low carb menu

2012-01-23T06:20:00.001-08:00

- Cheese omelet with two sausage patties
- Eight slices fried zucchini (breaded with parm) dipped in low carb honey mustard
- Turkey/cheese oopsie panini with red pepper, tomato and low carb honey mustard
- Salad with hard boiled egg, ham, red pepper, hot pepper jack cheese, parm and ranch
- Another turkey panini
- A few bites of low carb cheesecake brownie

Low carb menu

2012-01-22T11:44:00.000-08:00

- Two zucchini slices, bread with parm
- Turkey, swiss and tomato on an oopsie roll with mayo and honey mustard
- Chicken, breaded with parm
- Low carb cheesecake brownie
- Cheese omelet with two sausage patties
- More chicken

Low carb menu, breaded with parm

2012-01-21T08:53:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties with three scrambled eggs
- Dirty cauliflower "rice" with chicken, sausage, celery, green pepper, mushrooms, green onion and cheese
- Chicken tenderloins, breaded with parm
- Low carb cheesecake coconut flour brownie
- Pork chop, breaded with parm with low carb ketchup
- Fried zucchini, breaded with parm

Low carb menu

2012-01-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

- Pork rinds with butter, cinnamon and Splenda
- Parm-breaded pork chop, pan fried, dipped in low carb ketchup
- Chicken tenderloins, breaded with parm
- Two sausage patties with two pancakes
- Dirty cauliflower "rice" with chicken, sausage, celery, green pepper, mushrooms, green onion and cheese
- Low carb cheesecake brownie
- Some popcorn at the movies with one small piece of gf's candy

We saw War Horse and it was good. A must-see if you are an animal lover.

Low carb menu

2012-01-19T08:27:00.001-08:00

- Pork chop, breaded with parm with low carb ketchup
- Two chicken tenderloins, breaded with parm
- Low carb cheesecake brownie
- Chef salad with ham, hard boiled egg, celery, cheese and ranch
- Dirty cauliflower "rice" with chicken, sausage, celery, green pepper, mushrooms, green onion and cheese
- Scrambled eggs with three low carb pancakes
- A few pork rinds with cinnamon and splenda

Stop Internet Censorship!

2012-01-18T08:48:00.000-08:00

Stop internet censorship!!!

http://www.savetheinternet.com/pipa-whiplist

I made a call to my senator's office and it was quite easy. I told her to tell my Senator to vote no on the PIPA and she said she would add me to the count. PLEASE check out that link and pass this along to as many people as you know.

Censorship and the Internet just don't go together and you know we have big lobbyists against the little guys, so please pick up the phone. We have to stick together on this!

https://twitter.com/fightfortheftr

Low carb menu

2012-01-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

- Chef salad with ham, hard boiled egg, celery, cheese and ranch
- Cheese omelet
- Two low carb pancakes
- One and a half pieces of low carb pound cake with Splenda-sweetened strawberries and home made whipped cream
- Low carb cheesecake brownie
- Four parm-breaded chicken tenderloins

The organization has begun! I have four boxes (one really big) to donate to Goodwill and I am so excited about cleaning out my closet. My art supplies are finally getting sorted out and I'm getting rid of a slew of stuff that I don't need. Then the art fun can begin!

My knee has been hurting so badly. My doctor says "no pain, no limp" regarding my reconstructive knee surgery (open wedge osteotomy), which leads me to believe that I should lay off it when there is pain. I don't want to get overly ambitious and screw up the healing process. Yeah, I'm excited about getting in shape and it's important to me, but not at the expense of my knee. So I think the Ripped in 30 is on hold just until the pain subsides. I lost most of my weight without a lot of exercise anyway... That is what is so good about low carb. But I can still use my ab roller, right??

Low carb menu

2012-01-17T10:11:00.000-08:00

- Scrambled eggs with ham and low carb ketchup
- Two sausage patties and low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup
- Unpotato salad
- Crock pot beef stroganoff with mashed cauliflower
- Chef salad with hard boiled egg, ham, celery and cheese with ranch

Exercise: Ripped in 30, week one

Low carb menu

2012-01-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

- Pumpkin bake
- Unpotato salad
- Two sausage patties and three eggs, scrambled with low carb ketchup
- Low carb chocolate pudding, made with half heavy cream and half water
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup and ham
- Crock pot low carb beef stroganoff over mashed cauliflower
- Half of a piece of low carb lemon pound cake (so good)

Exercise: Ripped in 30, week one

Low carb menu from Saturday

2012-01-15T07:52:00.001-08:00

- Chicken, breaded with parm with low carb honey mustard
- Scrambled eggs with low carb ketchup
- Shrimp cocktail with low carb cocktail sauce
- Ham, broccoli and deviled eggs
- 3 oz salted almonds
- 1.5 coconut flour brownies with low carb chocolate frosting

Low carb menu from Friday

2012-01-15T07:49:00.000-08:00

- Unpotato salad
- Pumpkin bake
- Chicken chunks, breaded with parm and honey mustard
- Pumpkin bake
- Unpotato salad
- Two hot dogs with half an oopsie with cheese, tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- A few more bites of chicken

Low carb menu

2012-01-13T10:01:00.001-08:00

- Three egg omelet with cheese and low carb ketchup with two sausage patties
- Chicken breast nuggets, breaded with egg and parm with low carb honey mustard
- Low carb chocolate pudding
- Unpotato salad
- More chicken nuggets
- Low carb crock pot beef stroganoff (from Dana Carpender's low carb crock pot cook book) with mashed cauliflower

I never have been able to find the Carb Countdown milk, so I used half heavy whipping cream and half water. I don't remember where I read it, but I have found that a good low carb substitute for milk in recipes is half heavy cream and half water and I have had success with that. I have even started buying the two pint containers of the heavy cream at Walmart.

I think that I have been overdoing it on my knee lately because I have pain around the plate... but maybe that is just from the cold weather also. My surgeon would probably tell me to take it easy, but after months of not being able to do much, it's hard to just sit there!

Low carb menu, cheap almond flour and etc

2012-01-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

- Half pound cheese burger patty with tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup with unpotato salad (with diced bell pepper added)
- Seven chicken breast nuggets, breaded with Parmesan cheese with low carb honey mustard
- One strawberry
- Three low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup
- A few bites of crock bot beef stroganoff

Exercise: Ripped in 30, week one by Jillian "Ripped" Michaels

If you are looking for a cheap place to order almond flour (within the USA), then you must try almond flour from Honeyville! It's 29.99 plus shipping but they have a deal through January 17th to get 20% off your order, with the coupon code of 2012. That is a really good price for a five pound bag. We already have some, but I'm tempted to take advantage of that offer. I also ordered Wheat Protein Isolate 8000 from there and I've had great success with their products.

I stole some tastes of the beef stroganoff while I was seasoning it. It's sooo good! I borrowed Dana Carpender's low carb crock pot cooking book from the library and it's quite good and was very easy to whip up. Beef round was on sale at our local supermarket (as were boneless, skinless chicken breasts) so that usually dictates what is on our menu for the week.

My brother is an RN and I have an aunt who is an RN, also. My godmother was an LPN-turned-office manager and they have all loved their careers. My brother actually is head nurse at a very large hospital frequently and he is good at what he does. A doctor offered to pay for him to go back to school to be his physician's assistant, but he really enjoy his career as a nurse.

To get on with it, my girlfriend plans to eventually be an RN, but first she is going to go to CNA training, which is exciting. It will involve a substantial pay raise plus she will get to work indoors and with patients, which she adores. She works as an assistant manager at a quickie oil shop, which can be quite stressful, believe it or not. She needs to take two classes before she can begin CNA training and we have a few more months to wait before she can be considered for in-state tuition. After she moved here, she couldn't get her driver's license for a few months because we were waiting on her out-of-state birth certificate.

The good news is, my brother told my mom to have my gf call him because he said that he can tell her how to get her CNA training paid for, which is awesome.

I've been getting around a lot better now and I even find myself doing laundry (in the basement), cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, doing cooking and dishes and feeling like I am hardly even needing my cane anymore. I do try and use it because when I don't, I do experience pain around the hardware in my knee from my osteotomy and the surgeon has the rule "no pain, no limp" for me as far as using my cane goes.

My 87 year old grandmother lost her last sibling, which is quite sad. She was one of six or seven kids so she never thought she would be the last one kicking. Just this past Christmas, she joked with her only remaining 92 year old sister that she didn't want to be the last one. Her sister assured her that she was going to outlive her, and my grandmother is just still quite shocked by this news. She is not up to going to the funeral, as it's about 11 hours of a drive each way and her energy level has been dwindling. She still does great for her age, still drives her friends around who are younger than her, recently stopped volunteering in the past year and still maintains an active social life.

My mom's radiation for her breast cancer (which is now gone) is taking quite a toll on her. I think she has about a dozen more zaps of radiation left and she is really in pain in the breast that had the cancer. That is where they are zapping her and she says that it hurts so bad that she can't even wear a bra. It's just really painful and almost like a sunburnt feeling. She will be back to work within a month, I think and I know she can't wait. She thought her sick pay re-started in January, but as it turns out, it would not re-start until March, so she is eager to get back to work as soon as possible. My girlfriend and I will have to bop over there to see her soon because her grand doggies always make her smile and she is fun to hang out with, too. My gf says that seeing my mom really eases her homesickness. Maybe we will take some pork chops and low carb lemon strawberry muffins or something fun like that.

On a lighter note, we have to hit the grocery store when we go there to get the locally-famous coney dogs! Coney dogs were made founded in Jackson, Michigan, which is my birthplace and you can actually buy authentic coney meat in one-pound tubs at various local grocery stores near my mom's house. It's kind of sad because all of the Todoroff's that were coney places closed. The deli that I used to work at served coney dogs (and probably still do) and I always made myself coney meat salads, which were shockingly good and quite low carb. No, it was not on the menu, but they let us deli girls make whatever we felt like in the kitchen. My colleagues would cringe at my "coney meat salad," but they have no clue what they were missing! If the ingredients are listed on the coney meat container, you bet your bottom dollar that I will be experimenting with the recipe!

Low carb menu

2012-01-11T07:47:00.000-08:00

- Two low carb pancakes with two sausage patties and sugar free syrup
- Three quarter pound hamburger patties with tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- A few bites of unpotato salad when I was making it (to taste it, of course!) with green pepper chunks added in
- One chicken breast nugget, breaded with Parmesan cheese and fried
- Small bowl of hamburger/cabbage/tomato/mushroom/onion thing

Exercise: Ripped in 30 by Jillian Michaels, day one plus around a 25 minute walk with the dogs and gf

Demanding health and happiness.

2012-01-10T11:10:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties and three scrambled eggs with low carb ketchup
- Pistachios and a few strawberries
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup
- Chicken breast chunks, breaded with egg and Parmesan cheese, pan fried then baked with low carb honey mustard
- Too much movie theater popcorn

We went to see the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and it was really good. It was just us and two other couples in the movies. We ended up getting this bucket from the movies with free refills, so I'm sure there will be more movie nights to come. It is refillable until April 1. I think a movie night every other week is okay, but next time, I won't eat so much popcorn. I was almost going to stay on-plan, but sometimes it helps me to have a planned deviation so that I feel like I don't have to make up for it after the fact. A few Halloweens ago, I didn't eat any sweets and I felt so deprived that I literally "made up for it" (aka binged on horrible foods) for months to come. A little bit of a planned deviation goes a long way for me.

I notice that especially with the working out, my body is changing. My waist is getting a lot smaller. At Goodwill, I got eight new tops, all size Large in women's. It's so nice to no longer be in an XL or even plus size clothes at all. There was a point where I was at the bigger end of plus size clothes and I still can't believe it when I'm in the "regular" department in the store.

I knee news, it's holding up pretty great. (For new people, I had a femoral open-wedge osteotomy which basically is just a fancy term for sawing my femur in half and inserting a wedge of my own bone in the inner part of it and allowing new bone to grow in the space that was created. My surgeon calls it fancy carpentry tricks with my bone and calls me his hero for whatever reason.) I often times find myself walking around the house without a cane and even forgetting where I placed it. I'm only taking half of a pain pill now instead of a full pill and I'm down to 2.5 to three pills a day, whereas before I was up to seven or eight a day. My rx allows me to take up to twelve a day, but I've never needed that many. This surgery was just so severe pain-wise and lifestyle wise that I really hope that I do not need another surgery. I will find out February 15th. In some ways, I do hope that I will get it done (on the recommendation of my surgeon) because my knee is still grinding and I do have the 3/8 of an inch leg length difference. I got a pair of shoes and boots before Christmas and I had a 3/8 of an inch lift put in them and they are so much better than the full one inch lift. Even walking around feel so much difference with my knee being at the correct angle where the femur comes together with the rest of my knee.

I have to give huge props to my gf for being so supportive about this whole thing. When we first met, she was just shocked at how awful my knee was and when I bent my knee, it felt like glass breaking, it was grinding so badly. She was confused as to why I wasn't seeking help for it. She later understood that my knee was in the shape it was in mostly due to a surgery gone wrong, so of course, I was leary to have correction surgery when the surgeon who operated on me for knock knees did the surgery way too early, which caused it to "overcorrect" (read: be very deformed).

I have to take the credit for going under the knife and that was single handedly the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It felt like I ran off of a cliff and only hoped that a net would catch me. She has been there for me to cook for me, do my laundry, help with our expenses, help me shower, on and on. When you are a strong-willed, once-independent woman like me, it's hard to even ask for help, much less from your significant other.

Losing weight, quitting smoking and getting the surgery done have all been life-changing, but they are all at the root of them, due to me being happy and wanting a long and happy life for myself. Before the surgery, I really considered myself as damaged goods and thought I would probably die young, so why bother going through with the surgery at all. Subconsciously, I was killing myself with cigarettes, marijuana and food. I would use all of the above to zone out and not even be able to cope with the reality I created for myself.

Since meeting my girlfriend, I feel like a whole new world has opened up for me. She has also for the first time in her life been able to lose weight and keep it off, from eating real foods. Since meeting one another, something just clicked in our own minds that makes us want to be healthy and she swears we will both live to be 100 years old. Even though we have only been together less than ten months, I swear that I have made more positive decisions for my life than I ever even dreamed of. I sought happiness, found love and now I demand health and happiness... That is the difference. Since my first e-mail to her, we have both lost close to eighty pounds each, but what we have gained is a lifetime together.

Low carb menu

2012-01-09T13:45:00.001-08:00

- Chicken/mushroom/sausage casserole
- Several bowls of cabbage/mushroom/onion/tomato/hamburger thing made in crockpot, inspired by Mom's crazy cabbage recipe

Exercise: Ripped in 30 by Jillian Michaels, week one

Low carb menu

2012-01-08T03:50:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- Three hot dogs on half an oopsie roll with diced green peppers, two tomato slices, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup
- Two sausage patties with two pancakes and sugar free syrup
- One and a half pieces of drumstick treat

Low carb menu

2012-01-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with all the fixins
- Another burger on an oopsie roll

Exercise: 37 minute walk with the dogs and gf

Low carb menu

2012-01-06T08:13:00.000-08:00

- Chicken/mushroom/sausage casserole
- Three hot dogs on half an oopsie with mayo, tomato, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Burger on an oopsie with mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato, onion and low carb ketchup
- Drumstick treat (as a late night snack)
- Drumstick treat (when I got up with my dog just before 5am)

Exercise: Jillian Michaels' Ripped in 30, week one

Low carb menu

2012-01-05T10:25:00.001-08:00

- Zucchini taco with taco meat, lettuce, salsa, sour cream and cheese
- Chicken/mushroom/sausage casserole
- Big ol' burger on an oopsie with lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Taco salad with cheese, salsa and sour cream

Exercise: Ripped in 30, week one

Low carb menu

2012-01-04T11:03:00.001-08:00

- Meatloaf
- Tuna salad
- Meatloaf with mockafoni and cheese
- Chicken/sausage/mushroom casserole

Exercise: Ripped in 30 by Jillian Michaels, week one

Low carb menu

2012-01-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

- Meatloaf with half an oopsie with onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Low carb brownie with walnuts and low carb chocolate frosting
- Mockafoni and cheese
- Zucchini taco shell with taco meat, lettuce, cheddar cheese, salsa and sour cream and pork rinds on the side

Exercise: Ripped in 30 by Jillian Michaels, week one

Low carb menu for January 1

2012-01-02T16:42:00.000-08:00

- Two pieces of sausage quiche with mushrooms, onions, peppers and low carb ketchup
- Two sausage patties
- Three low carb pancakes with Mrs. Butterworth's low carb syrup
- Taco salad with taco meat, cheese, salsa and sour cream with some plain pork rinds

Two Thousand Twelve

2012-01-02T12:40:00.000-08:00

I did the obligatory weigh-in for January 1, and I'm back in the 100's!

I weighed in at 199.4 and I actually got a weigh-in of 197 point-something, too, but I stepped on time and time again and it was between this number and that number.

Either way, I'm glad that I survived the holiday season and I'm less than what I started the season out at. Getting on the scale is SO HARD for me and I have no clue why.

Last January 1, I weighed in at 280.8, so this is certainly an improvement. I did not get serious about low carbing until late February/early March, so it's clear that it really works for me.

Yesterday was spent very hung-over.

I'm determined to get to a normal weight this year and I'm very excited about it! With the help of eating smallish, low-carb meals consisting of real foods and Jillian kicking my ass through the work outs, I have no doubt that I will achieve my goals!

Happy New Year, ya'll!

Angieloo

Low carb menu

2011-12-31T09:02:00.000-08:00

- Tuna salad
- Sausage quiche with mushrooms, green pepper and onions
- Three hot dogs on half an oopsie roll with mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two pieces of low carb drumstick treat
- Five baby smoky links, cheesy (2 carbs for five of them)

Exercise: Day four of the 30 Day Shred

Low carb menu

2011-12-30T09:30:00.000-08:00

- Three scrambled eggs (fried in butter) with two sausage patties
- Hamburger/hot dog quiche with mushrooms, cheese, onions and bell pepper
- Two sausage patties
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
- Tuna salad with celery, mayo, liquid splenda, bell pepper, hard boiled egg and sugar free relish

Exercise: Third day in a row of week one of the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels

Low carb menu

2011-12-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

- Hamburger~hotdog~bell pepper~onion~mushroom quiche
- Two sausage patties
- More quiche
- Green bean casserole with hamburger and ham added

Exercise: Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred workout, week one plus a pack walk with the dogs and girlfriend

You need hand weights (light ones) to do many of the strength-training workouts on this particular dvd and I only have one ten-pound weight, so I improvised and used jars of natural spaghetti sauce instead. Hey, it pays to stock up sometimes!

Low carb menu and Jillian Michaels kicked my bootie

2011-12-28T10:56:00.000-08:00

- Cheeseburger~hotdog supreme
- Pork chop breaded with Parmesan with low carb ketchup
- Dottie's green bean casserole with ham and burger added in
- Two sausage patties with two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup

I will have to post the recipe for the cheeseburger~hot dog supreme later on. It's really good, actually and was just born from what we had in our kitchen.

So last night, we did the workout for part one of Jillian's 30 day shred and wow, did it ever work us out! I did have to rely on my walker for some of the running routines because my knee is not 100% yet after surgery, but that workout was unbelievable! I also had to do some modified push ups because I can't lay on the floor yet face-down, but I made due and certainly got in a good, hard workout. After being in the wheelchair then the walker, it felt great to get my blood pumping!

Christmas and such

2011-12-27T13:01:00.001-08:00

Hope everybody had a very Merry Christmas!

We went and celebrated with my grandma on Christmas Eve and spent the night with my mom that night. We woke up and had our traditional sausage and egg breakfast sandwiches then we went and ate dinner at my favorite brother's house. He could not leave the house because he was on-call (yeah, cable guys are even on call during the holidays), so he made us a nice salad and potroast. I had some of the best wine at my brother's house.

We came back here on Christmas day and I had a donut to celebrate the holiday and we opened presents. Angie got me a cute bathrobe, a gorgeous rose gold necklace and earrings that are sooo gorgeous (she says that pretty girls should wear pretty things), a dvd, a little lit-up bakery as part of a little Victorian Christmas village, some pans that I asked for (nice pyrex ones), a pug calendar and pug socks because I'm totally in love with our pug, some dish towels that are totally Christmassy and I'm like obsessed with dish towels for some reason (every time I'm at our dollar store, one mysteriously winds up in the cart) plus two ornaments and one that I can't think of right now. We were starting our tradition of exchanging one Christmas ornament per year, but I totally dropped the ball when I ran out of time to make it. However, leave it to Angie to get two ornaments, so she said that one of them can be from me to her. How thoughtful is she? She filled my stocking with the cutest nail polish, cute little popcorn containers I've been eyeing plus an O magazine. My mom gave us $100 bill, which is totally awesome. I mostly got Angie Old Navy stuff because she has practically no clothes that fit her now that she has lost almost ninety pounds. She is into about a men's size large (XL if you ask her because she wears everything several sizes too big).

I did quite a bit of low carb baking, including chewy chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, coconut brownies and drumstick treat on the day before Christmas Eve, which was fun. It's nice to be able to have treats that won't make me sick, but I need to remember that they are indeed treats and do not need to be consumed daily. I left my mom and brother with some of the healthy treats and the rest are in the freezer, except for the drumstick treat, which probably wouldn't freeze well anyway. Plus, it's a nice option for us to eat when we are back on plan with eating low carb. I didn't go crazy over the holiday, but I certainly indulged enough where I do not feel like I need to make up for it because I was cheated in any way.

We are celebrating at my dad's house with my five brothers and sister on New Year's Eve Day, which should be fun. I hope all the boys can make it. Angie has a special question for my dad, which makes me nervous, but she is old-school like that. Everybody loves her. My dad was apprehensive about me having a girlfriend at first, but he sees how good she treats me and how happy we are together and last time he hung out with her, he was telling her what a good listener she is. She really hit it off with my grandma too, who was excited that she had somebody to tell her stories to who has never heard them... You know, the "80 years ago when I was a kid..." versions.

When I was at my brother's, I did this dance game on the xbox 360 connect, which was pretty cool. I was jsut happy that I could master most of the moves without being on my cane, so clearly, the knee front is on the up and up. I'm going to start doing Pilates on Netflix and last night, we picked up a Jillian Michaels' workout dvd, so I'm still putting my health at the top of my list.

Day-After-Christmas Menu:
- Sausage and cheese three egg omelet
- Three chewy chocolate chip low carb cookies
- BLT on an oopsie with mayo and cheese
- Drumstick treat

Low carb menu

2011-12-23T07:05:00.000-08:00

- Unpotato salad with green pepper added
- Three egg cheese omelet
- Hamburger gravy on top of mashed cauliflower
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie roll with onions, tomato, lettuce, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two sausage patties with un-potato salad

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

<333
Angieloo

Low carb menu and trusting the universe

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's pancake syrup
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting
- Half pound bun-less hamburger with mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- About 1/3 of a large movie theater popcorn

We had date night last night and Angie took me to see the newest Twilight movie. I was a little bit late hopping aboard the Twilight train, but it sure is awesome!

I knee news, I have taken quite a few steps without my cane or anything, which has been soo awesome. My surgeon told me "no pain, no limp" when it comes to walking around on my newly-reconstructed knee. If it hurts, I'm supposed to be on my cane for now. It does still kind of hurt when I'm sitting with my knee bent, but before surgery, it was much worse. I would literally lay in bed and complain to Angie that the arthritis was so severe that there was not a single position for me to place my knee where it would not be in the most throbbing, excruciating pain. I even just got used to dealing with pain, ignoring the constant signal to my brain that my knee was hurting. I came to realize that part of me felt that I deserved the pain for making myself so fat, when in reality, it had nothing to do with my weight. Sure, I'm sure that me being so big was not helping the problem, but nobody deserves that type of pain. As Angie would remind me, if it were only my weight causing the issues, both knees would hurt, whereas it was just the deformed one that hurt. My surgeon says that he has seen very thin people with the same kind of knee problem, and that it is completely unrelated to my weight. I still kind of only half-believe him, but he is the one who does over three hundred reconstructive knee surgeries per year, so he really knows his stuff. I will say one thing I know for sure, though. My knee pain was not helped by my then-obesity, that is for sure.

Tomorrow will be four months post-op and also when I smoked the last time. Last night, I went to let the dogs out before bed and I just started to walk around without my cane at all. Less than a month ago, walking on a cane was terrifying to me, but it's all about making progress, a little bit at a time. If I do end up needing the same kind of surgery on the bottom part of my knee, it will be fine. Getting through the last four months has been very difficult for me, but it has really shown me that I can overcome more than I ever dreamed.

It's so wild how life works out, isn't it? I never would have dreamed that I would be having knee surgery and being so happy with it. After all, I really blame much of my previous knee deformity on the botched surgery when I was only 12 years old.

I really didn't even realize that I was open to love or into getting a girlfriend at all, until Angie came along and our love was simply undeniable... I did not know from an early age that I was into girls. In fact, before my girlfriend, I just always was attracted to and had relationships with men. I'm happy for our love and I wouldn't have it any other way, but my point is, you never really know what life is going to deal you.

I have to give myself some credit for creating my destiny, though. Through good decisions and perseverance, I have lost over 100 lbs and am still losing. I was open to fixing my knee, so I sought out a top-notch surgeon whose plan I could trust. I was open to love and being with somebody who could make me feel more special and happier than I ever dreamed. When you are open, the universe will make you so happy... happier than you ever dreamed. I think that it is up to you to decide what you want, then the universe will find a way... probably much different from the "how" that you ever imagined... and much better, too.

I looked back at my entry for January 1, 2011 and I was eighty pounds heavier than I am now, single and not having any clue how I would deal with my knee pain. However, I said, "2011 is going to be my year... I just know it." And so it was.

Low carb menu

2011-12-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- Hamburger gravy on mashed cauliflower
- Three egg cheese omelet, fried in butter and dipped in low carb ketchup
- Two sausage patties
- Mockafoni and cheese with low carb ketchup

Mockafoni for the win!

Low carb menu

2011-12-20T11:05:00.001-08:00

- Two bowls of home made creamy chicken veggie soup with celery, mushrooms, onions and green peppers
- Un-potato salad with green pepper added
- Two more bowls of super yummy soup
- Three oz pistachios (maybe four)
- Two low carb pancakes, plain
- Three beef sticks (small, pepperoni-like, less than one carb each)
- Two and a half drinks made with vodka and diet Mountain Dew

Low carb menu

2011-12-19T00:29:00.000-08:00

- Mockafoni and cheese with low carb ketchup and 1/4 lb bunless burger with tomato, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with all the fixins with unpotato salad
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup

Low carb menu

2011-12-18T11:04:00.000-08:00

- Half pound bun-less burger with mayo, tomato, mustard and ketchup with mockafoni and cheese
- Two low carb pancakes, plain
- Mockafoni and cheese with low carb ketchup
- Hamburger gravy with mashed cauliflower

Low carb menu

2011-12-17T14:22:00.000-08:00

- Two low carb brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- Hamburger gravy
- Half pound bunless burger with cheese, tomato, onion, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Mashed cauliflower with hamburger gravy

Low carb menu

2011-12-16T16:35:00.000-08:00

- Three pieces of tilapia parmesan
- 1.5 gluten free brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- Chicken broccoli "rice" (riced cauliflower)
- Hamburger gravy

Low carb menu

2011-12-15T09:54:00.000-08:00

- Tilapia parmesan with chicken veggie "rice"
- Tilapia parmesan
- Tuna patty
- Two tuna patties on an oopsie with deluxe American cheese, mayo, lettuce and tomato dipped in low carb ketchup
- Chicken veggie "rice"
- A few bites of a gluten free brownie with low carb chocolate frosting

Easy low carb chocolate frosting

2011-12-14T14:44:00.001-08:00

- Half cup heavy whipping cream
- Two tablespoons cocoa powder
- Two tablespoons natural peanut butter
- Ten drops of liquid splenda
- Three teaspoons sugar free pancake syrup

Blend all ingredients in a bowl using an electric mixer. Easy-peasy! This makes enough frosting to frost a single-layer cake or brownies. Double for a double layer cake.

Low carb menu

2011-12-14T02:07:00.001-08:00

- Three small pieces of strawberry jello cake (needed to be used up!)
- Tuna patty sandwich on an oopsie roll with two patties, mayo, lettuce, tomato and low carb ketchup
- Low carb peanut butter fudge
- Chicken broccoli "rice"

Low carb recipe: Chicken veggie rice

2011-12-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

- Three cups of cooked chicken, diced
- One head of cauliflower, grated with a cheese grater or food processor
- Five green onions, sliced
- Four teaspoons minced garlic
- One bag of frozen broccoli
- Half of a red or green pepper, diced (optional)
- One four ounce can of mushrooms
- Four tablespoons of butter and olive oil, each
- One cup heavy cream (8 oz)
- Two cups shredded cheddar (8 oz)

Grate cauliflower. Saute onions and garlic in the butter/olive oil in a large dutch oven and then add in the riced cauliflower, bell pepper, mushrooms and frozen broccoli. Cover and cook over medium heat, and stirring occasionally until tender.

Salt and pepper to taste and add heavy cream and cheddar cheese and cook until just melted.

Finally, add in cooked chicken and serve warm.

Low carb menu

2011-12-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

- Three sausage patties
- Two tuna patties on an oopsie with cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato and low carb ketchup
- Peanut butter cookies with sugar free chocolate chips
- Three pieces of low carb pizza with sausage, ham, pepperoni, mushrooms, cheese, natural vodka sauce with ranch dressing
- BBQ pork rinds

Low carb menu and planning for Christmas

2011-12-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

- Two tuna patties on an oopsie roll with mayo, lettuce and tomato dipped in low carb ketchup
- Four hot dogs with an oopsie with tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with sausage, ham, pepperoni, mozzarella and natural vodka sauce
- Low carb peanut butter cookies
- A few sugar free chocolate chips

These peanut butter cookies are REALLY good! I made a triple batch and I actually froze three bags of them to make drumstick treat later on in the year. I'm just setting myself up for success and this time of year, I'm really on this mindset that I deserve "treats" and I know better than to think that high-carb processed candy is the way to go, plus the drumstick treat is sooo decadent.

I asked my girlfriend if three drumstick treats should be enough to get us through the Christmas season, just joking around and she replied, "Yeah, but what are you going to eat?"

Drumstick treat has many layers, but it's worth the extra work in the kitchen to make a home made, from scratch dish that you know you and your loved ones can enjoy guilt-free this year.

Low carb menu

2011-12-11T09:42:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- 1.25 waffles with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with cheese, sausage, ham, pepperoni and mushrooms with ranch and Parmesan cheese
- Low carb strawberry cake
- 1/4 cucumber sandwich on an oopsie with spiced mayo ala girlfriend

Low carb menu

2011-12-10T11:47:00.000-08:00

- Half an oopsie roll
- Two tuna patties
- Tuna patty sandwich on an oopsie with two patties, lettuce, tomato, mayo, cheese and low carb ketchup
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with sausage, mushrooms, pepperoni, ham, mozz and vodka sauce

Low carb menu

2011-12-09T09:40:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- Unpotato salad
- Half of a plain oopsie roll out of the oven
- Pepperoni
- Low carb strawberry cake

We finally got our first dumping of snow. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, that is for certain. We aren't going all crazy overboard for Christmas this year, but I do have a few more things that I would like to pick up.

In knee news, I'm pretty much off the walker and up on the cane! I never thought I would be so excited to be on a cane, but it's quite a difference. I'm pretty sure that the walker has also been making some cut marks on the linoleum, so I'm pretty much on the cane or in the wheelchair. I made the mistake of overdoing it on my first day up on the cane, pretty much using it exclusively and my knee sure did pay for it later. It was super duper painful and even when my dog rested her head on it that night, I nearly winced and screamed in pain. She felt so bad, poor thing! I need to progress slowly on it, using it more and more each day.

My goal for this weekend is to get my art studio organized. Like, really organized... labeled and all! I have a slew of art supplies, but they are not all that sorted, which is a crafter's nightmare. I'm looking forward to have a well-organized cute art studio to work in. Since I also work from home, it's actually also my home office. We have a two bedroom apartment and I took the bigger room for my office. We did it so it would be quieter because it's the one room that is not sharing any walls with our sometimes-loud neighbors. I'm great at helping others get organized, but this weekend, I seriously want a professional organizer to show up with her cute little label maker to save me! Help!

Menu for the day

2011-12-08T12:59:00.000-08:00

- Two tuna patties with unpotato salad
- Two smallish plates from Chinese buffet with several lower carb options
- Low carb strawberry cake
- Unpotato salad

Low carb menu, weigh in, Christmas shopping

2011-12-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

- Two tuna patties
- Strawberry cake
- Tuna patty/cheese/mayo/lettuce/tomato on an oopsie with mayo and ketchup
- Mashed cauliflower with cream of mushroom soup as a gravy
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie with all the fixings

The strawberry cake is a winner... best three and a half carbs I spent all day!

Having a planned deviation today while taking my mom out to eat... I need to think of it as not a complete binge where I feel sick (I know...), but I am going to allow myself to indulge a little bit. Maybe it will trick my body a little bit with the carb thing, who knows....

I weighed in this morning at 200.2, after I drank a cup of coffee (which has to weigh about eight ounces, right??) That is a loss of half a pound and I'm happy about that. I'm counting it as about a pound lost, which is awesome, I think.

I like the way my life is going. I'm in a size Large women's shirt, soon to be a Medium and my jeans actually fit. It's not like I'm pouring into a size 12 Tall; they really fit. The difference between long and tall is the talls have a 36'' inseam; long is usually 34'''. Sometimes, when I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I hardly even recognize myself, in a good way. I think the mirror plays tricks on us because when I was really morbidly obese, I would look at myself as thinner than I was, almost as a coping mechanism. I would try on a slew of clothes, trying to find something that made me look less fat than I was. If I looked good in something, it was "flattering" on me. I really have come to hate that word... flattering. It's like saying, you are not good enough how you are, but boy does that outfit do wonders for the imagination! I used to love it when my mom told me something was flattering on me, but now I just cringe. Now, I choose clothes that are more form-fitted because I'm proud of my body and my shape. Yeah, I said it and I don't care if it sounds conceited... I don't have the world's best body image, but I've worked hard for what I do have and I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming.

Went to Walmart last night with my girlfriend and we had fun choosing some Christmas gifts. I got myself an earring tree that is sooo cute. I make jewelry, so it's not completely frivolous, plus it's a seasonal item I think, so it was a good buy. It looks pewter, but I"m sure it's a cheaper, painted metal, but it's pretty adorable. If you wear earrings, you know that finding the mate is half the battle... Kind of like in life!

We got fresh and frozen cauliflower, which will be great for mashed cauliflower and rice risotto. I don't think she has ever had my risotto, so she is in for a real treat. I think it will pair nicely with the Tilapia Parmesan. I have found that for "ricing" cauliflower, grating it raw is much easier than grating frozen, overly wet stuff.

Thoughts on my 400th entry and osteotomy update

2011-12-06T10:46:00.000-08:00

This is my 400th blog entry! While I will not say that low carbing is a piece of cake, it's certainly become a way of life for me. Lots of people think that eating low carb means no fruits or veggies, and that is just not the case. I eat many more vegetables and whole foods than I ever ate when I was on the Standard American Diet rat wheel.

Eating low carb starts off very rocky, just like quitting anything does, then it becomes easier and easier over time. During induction (the first two weeks of eating 20 carbs or less per day), your body is actually just beginning to tap into the stored fat to use in fat burning mode, so of course your body can be quite cranky and really just not wanting to use up the stored fat. In leaner times, it was great to have a fat storage, but in modern times, not so much. We were built to survive, so it's no wonder why our bodies can be reluctant to use our "energy savings" so to speak. Eating low carb actually forces your body to burn the stored carbohydrates (read: fat).

Years ago, I never really gave much thought to what I was eating, but I "knew" one thing... Eating fat was "bad." I thought of deviled eggs and bacon as "naughty" because of their high fat content. I was extremely disillusioned! I would eat a bowl of white rice with "I can't believe it's not butter" and think I was doing wonders for my body, eating low fat. That was obviously wreaking havoc on my blood sugar and causing serious spikes, which lead to my insulin resistance and pre-diabetes, no doubt.

I will tell anybody who asks how I've lost my weight, because I have lost quite a substantial amount (over a hundred pounds). I just answer, "low carb." Do other people notice the looks of disapproval when you come out of the low carb closet? Even though I think most people would benefit from a low carb regimen, I am careful not to try to put other people on a diet or anything like that. When people are addicted to carbohydrates, they may not even realize it, but the thought of them giving up their morning bagel or toast or pasta or whatever actually causes them great distress and it must be our own decision.

Years ago, I scoffed at the Atkins diet, thinking it just was extremely unhealthy for your heart and actually speaking out against it when I heard of people even trying it, but I think I was just secretly afraid somebody was trying to steal my toast. I was painfully addicted to highly processed carbohydrates and my order at any restaurant was based on how I could fit in the most carbs versus what I actually enjoyed eating.

I told my dad to just try eating eggs for breakfast because I think it's all about small changes and constantly moving in the right direction.

I'm definitely still learning, but I've lost about 80% of my excess weight, but that does not mean that I only have 20% to go and I'm done. For one, if I quit eating low carb now, the weight will surely come back quickly. Secondly, the closer I get to goal, the slower it is coming off. At first, I would lose a pound a day of weight, which was quite motivating. Now, even if I'm on plan, I'm happy to see a pound of weight loss on the scale in a week. I'm about 25 pounds away from getting to a normal weight and I'm very excited.

In terms of my knee, I was looking at my legs in the mirror yesterday and they look straight! I'm so excited about this. I truly thought that my left leg was screwed for life, to be honest. Even at the young age of seven years old, my legs were very knock-kneed, which lead to the growth portion surgery (staples in the inner bones of my knees) that I had at ages 12 and 13, respectively. My right knee was a success, but my left knee over-corrected itself and what was once a knock knee quickly became bow-legged. My orthopedic pediatric surgeon never dreamed I would grow to be 5'10'' and so he was just in hurry to operate because he feared I was done growing. He really should have done a simple x-ray of my wrist to see how far my growth portion had to grow and estimate my height that way, but that is water under the bridge. My point is, I've never remembered having straight legs until now and while one is still 3/8'' shorter, I'm in a lot less pain than I was in pre-surgery when the angle on my knee was just completely off, which my doctor called a malunion in my knee.

Life is good and I'm continually moving in the right direction!

Low carb menu:

- Pork rinds with pork bbq
- Unpotato salad
- Mashed cauliflower with Dottie's cream of mushroom soup as a gravy
- Tuna patty sandwich cheese, deluxe on an oopsie roll
- Quarter pound cheeseburger patty with onions, tomato, lettuce and low carb ketchup
- Four pieces of one-carb peanut butter fudge

Low carb menu

2011-12-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties and a low carb waffle
- Unpotato salad with two tuna patties with low carb ketchup
- Peanut butter fudge
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with all the fixins
- Pork bbq with bbq pork rinds

Low carb menu

2011-12-04T03:31:00.000-08:00

- Pork chop, breaded with Parmesan cheese with low carb ketchup
- Another pork chop
- Deviled eggs
- Half pound burger on an oopsie roll with onions, lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayo and of course low carb ketchup

Yesterday was my eight month anniversary with Angie. She is the most amazing person that I could ever dream of finding! We watched a movie on Starz because it got too late to go to the video store, plus she has to work early this morning. I made her a cute little hand stitched embroidery and it's just lovely. It's quirky and cute and says "love birds" on it with two birds and is heart-shaped with little embroidered daisies on it, too.

My mom is coming over on Wednesday to go to lunch with us and also to see our Christmas tree. She is going to bring over an angel as a tree topper and I can't wait. We are using her old tree, which is super nice for being a fake one. I feel honored that she chose me to give it to. I can write this because none of my brothers read my blog, lol. I have mentioned it on the wayside to them here or there that I write down what I eat, but they are not even close to the Internet junkie that I am. They check their email maybe once a day whereas my email is on auto-check so I never miss a beat.

We create our own existence in this world, largely if not completely. That is one of the first things that drew me to Angie - her belief system and how accountable she seemed (and is) for beckoning people into our lives and basically creating our own destiny and reality. We always joke that that is the good news and the bad news!

It's raining like mad, which would usually be snow this time of year which would usually cause my arthritis to be really horrible, but it's shockingly not bad. My knee surgery literally removed some of my damaged bone (I think), but the way my surgeon tells it, he just did some carpentry tricks with my bone. Think of if you had a table with a bad leg... He removed a wedge of bone from my own hip and put it in my femur, which changed the whole angle of my knee. When he saw me walk with my pantleg up, he said that he really couldn't be happier. This guy does over three hundred reconstructive joint surgeries per year and is simply amazing. He actually received the Patient's Choice Award for 2010 and he is definitely at hero-status in my life. Angie gets mad when I tell her she is my hero, but she really is too. She has been sick with a stomach flu, but I packed her a cute little lunch and I hope she can eat it and gets better soon. She really can't miss work, but I wish she would stay home and get better....

Low carb menu

2011-12-03T10:41:00.001-08:00

- Unpotato salad
- Pork chop, breaded with egg and parmesan cheese
- Sausage patty
- Half pound burger with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup on an oopsie roll
- Deviled eggs
- Low carb peanut butter fudge
- Unpotato salad

We've all been there, I think. The point where somebody finds your blog who you really REALLY don't want to and then you just feel so... vulnerable. I thought about turning it to private, but I like all the feedback that I get from you all and all... plus I feel like I'm putting the low carb word "out there" so to speak.

What have you guys done when people who you would never show you blog to in a zillion years have found you? Thoughts?

Low carb menu, knee surgery update and good news for mom

2011-12-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- A waffle with sugar free syrup

Good news on my mom's mammogram. She is cancer free still! She had it surgically removed, then did 16 weeks of chemo, had a month off and is going to start 6 weeks of radiation soon. I am so relieved that she is cancer free, but I could choke her for still smoking. Quitting smoking is scary, though and I should know because I've done it. I think sometimes, the unknown is scarier than the actual fall. For me, quitting was like walking off the edge of a cliff and expecting the net to be there. No amount of preaching or begging can get somebody to quit, though... It's really a decision that must be made from the gut and made on one's own.

My surgeon says that I'm healing as good as can be expected. The space in the bone looks very filled in. I'm still on the walker, but I will be up on a cane soon. You hold the cane on the opposite side of the bad leg, which still kind of baffles me, but he is the expert.

He tells me I'm his hero because I still am off the smoking, plus due to my 105 pound weight loss I guess. I say he is my hero because he really changed my life with making my leg all better. The not getting around properly can really mess with a person and I'm in a ton of pain still. He says he wants me to be off the pain pills in a month or two, which sound reasonable but also scary. I'm going to call the nurse and see if I can be back on my anti-inflammatory, which really helps the pain.

I don't go back to my surgeon until February 15th. I'm doing hip-to-toe xrays before I go back to see him and he will make a decision then as to if I need my other surgery or not. It would be an open wedge high tibial osteotomy, which would help with the arthritis and would also cause my legs to be closer to the same length. Part of me is SO RELIEVED that I may not need the second surgery as this one was quite a doozie... Sawing my bone in half, having a wedge of bone cut from my hip bone (ouch) and then having a plate with screws drilled right into my femur.

My left leg started out very bow legged and is now close to the right angle. It started off as a one-inch leg length discrepancy and is now only 3/8 of an inch shorter, so that is a plus. I need to get a hold of the custom shoe place and see what they can do about that. I'm sure there is a lift I need to make everything stay more lined up than it has been.

I kind of feel like he is just letting me go swim on my own and I don't know how to swim. (I really do, but you can get the metaphor). I guess life is like that a lot... You don't realize you can do it on your own until you do. I tried to take a step with the cane in his office and he said that I just might not be ready yet.

I'm also disappointed because I stayed on plan for ALL of November but lost zero pounds. I'm so mad about it that I could spit. I guess I did gain muscle in my left leg, which was so skinny after I took off the immobilizer, but I feel like that is making an excuse. My leg beefed up with muscle and I didn't actually gain any weight, so in a way, part of it is fat loss. My girlfriend is always so encouraging and she reminds me that I've done so great and am still doing awesome, reminds me that I'm into a size 12 jeans so just look how far I've come, but I can't help kicking myself in the ass for this last 25 pounds being so hard to lose.

I guess when so much of my self worth comes from dropping the pounds, having a while of maintaining can mess with me. If I'm good enough when I lose weight, when I don't lose weight, I'm not good enough.... sort of deal. I guess I did gain a couple pounds from my lowest recorded weight of 198.4 and now I'm at about 200.8.

It was Halloween then Thanksgiving and I stayed 100% on plan, but I feel like that is just more of an excuse than the actual truth. I know eating low carb works, so am I just purposely sabotaging myself or what?

I do know one thing... The only way to move on with any semblance of sanity is to know that we are okay, today, just the way we are. I don't think anybody really feels good enough ever so maybe I'm not alone in this. Weight is just such a measurable thing and we have to nurture ourselves daily, so it's no wonder to me that so many of us struggle with our weight.

Low carb menu

2011-12-01T08:34:00.000-08:00

- Turkey/mushroom/broccoli/cauliflower cheesy casserole
- A hot dog with mustard and low carb ketchup
- Meatballs with marinara sauce on half an oopsie roll with cheese
- Spaghetti squash with a few mushrooms and Parmesan cheese
- Pumpkin bake

Low carb menu and weigh in

2011-11-30T08:45:00.000-08:00

- Cheesy turkey, mushroom, broccoli, cauliflower casserole topped with bacon
- Low carb brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- Dottie's green bean casserole
- Three hot dogs with cheese and onions on an oopsie roll with mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Cheesy turkey, mushroom, broccoli, cauliflower casserole with bacon on top

I weighed in at 200.8 this morning. Must have been all of the brownies I've been eating and I'm sure the Absolut vodka on Thanksgiving did not help, either. Plus, I've been eating extra food just because it was Thanksgiving week, which really makes no sense, but is somehow justified in my own mind. I'm ready to get back under 200 and to my goal weight of 175, darnit!

I go to the surgeon today and we will see what he says. I'm sure x-rays will be involved along with getting some good, low carb groceries.

Keep on keeping on, ya'll... That is my motto!

Low carb menu

2011-11-29T11:26:00.000-08:00

- Two pieces of meatloaf with green bean casserole
- Two more pieces of meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- Turkey/broccoli/mushroom cheesy casserole with bacon on top
- Chef salad with ham, cheese, hard boiled egg, cucumbers and ranch

Low carb menu and taking back my power

2011-11-28T08:18:00.000-08:00

- Turkey with Dottie's green bean casserole
- Deviled eggs
- 3.5 hot dogs on an oopsie roll with cheese, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Drumstick treat
- Turkey
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting and sugar free chocolate chips on top

I went to my dad's house last night for Thanksgiving dinner, but we were later than everybody because it was my girlfriend's first day as an assistant manager. I'm so proud of her. She has only worked there for about thirteen weeks and she is already moving up the ladder. I'm not shocked because she works her butt off plus she is just a natural teacher and motivator. She is going to make the best assistant manager ever. I think that they say that the true mark of a man is how they treat the people below them.

To get on with it, I decided on the way there that I wasn't really in the mood to deviate from plan just for some food that had probably been sitting around, so I just had some turkey. I will save my planned deviation for our eight month anniversary when we are going out for the latest twilight movie. We brought along some low carb brownies and we even left them in the car. Don't judge me, lol. I took cock doggies as my passing dish. Last year, when I took a seven layer salad, I got called out by my stepmom's mom as to why didn't I bring the cock doggies too.

My little brother says the same thing when I see him every time, "Where are the cock doggies?" They are little cocktail sausages wrapped in 1/4 of a small butter milk biscuit. While they are not exactly low carb, they have less than three carbs each, which kind of shocked me when I calculated it out. I skipped them, which was kind of shocking, considering that I made a triple batch of them.

Today's plans are going to be fun. My girlfriend has the day off and she is hopefully going to whip up some of her famous low carb waffles, which I enjoy more than her low carb pancakes only because they don't contain any cheese and the pancakes contain both cream cheese and cottage cheese. We also have plans to decorate our Christmas tree together which is SO exciting because it's our first Christmas. Then, we are going to watch the Twilight movie and I want to help her get going at designing her first website for pet sitting and canine rehabilitation.

Last night, when my dad saw me, he said the cutest thing, "Wow, you look just like you looked when you were a little girl." I was the cutest little girl, too, before I started putting on weight. If you look at photos of me when I was four then when I was seven years old, I literally look like two different kids. I was molested during my kindergarten physical and then I just started packing on the pounds. Everybody blamed the divorce for me gaining weight, which I'm sure was part of it also, but not nearly as much as my pedophile doctor molesting me. I think of me losing weight as me taking back my power. I have known many people who have found it scary and unsafe to be attractive, so we put on a fat suit to guard us from being hurt, but really, it's no way to live and it will only put us in an early grave.

After my parents divorced, my dad would take us kids out and feeding us was pretty much the only thing that he knew how to do with us. He had good intentions, but it was not the healthiest thing in the world. One day, we ate so much that my brother did not even want McDonald's when my dad took us there after several other places. I ate a value meal and came home and puked up my shamrock shake. I knew it was because I ate so much that my little tummy just couldn't handle it. That is so disgusting now that I think of it... and sad.

Me taking back my health is no longer giving the power to the gross pedophile of a doctor who took advantage of me at the age of four. He no longer rules my body - I do.

It has taken me decades to realize this, because I would always say the same thing about the molestation, "At least it only happened once. Some people get molested for years and years and so mine really didn't effect me and I'm one of the lucky ones." LUCKY? No four year old is lucky for having been sexualized at such a young age and the shame that comes from that it just horrible.

Low carb menu

2011-11-26T22:55:00.001-08:00

- Deviled eggs
- Meatloaf with deluxe american cheese and low carb ketchup with mashed cauliflower and gravy
- Two low carb brownies with home made low carb chocolate frosting
- Tossed salad with ham, cheese, cucumbers and hard boiled egg
- Meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- 1.5 hot dogs with low carb ketchup and mustard

Size 12 jeans

2011-11-26T20:45:00.000-08:00

I ordered some 12 tall jeans from Old Navy and they freaking FIT me! I've gone from a size 26/28 to a size 12... I can't believe my jeans!

Before my knee surgery thirteen weeks ago, I was in a size 16, but now they are way too big, so I ordered a size 12, thinking I would need to lose some weight to get into them... I didn't want to order size 14 because I don't want to just need the next size so soon.... So I took a leap of faith and ordered some 12s and they fit me!

Wahooo!!!

Low carb menu

2011-11-26T08:27:00.000-08:00

- Turkey with gravy
- Deviled eggs
- Drumstick treat
- Two sausages with two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
- Deviled eggs
- Turkey

Low carb menu for Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T13:27:00.000-08:00

- Half of a breadstick muffin with marinara sauce
- Low carb biscuits
- Gluten free brownie with chocolate frosting
- Chicken/sausage/mushroom casserole
- Turkey with gravy
- Mashed cauliflower with gravy
- Dottie's green bean casserole
- Drumstick treat

Wednesday's low carb menu

2011-11-25T13:26:00.000-08:00

- Unpotato salad
- Meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- Breadstick muffin
- Tossed salad with ranch dressing

Low carb menu

2011-11-23T12:08:00.000-08:00

- Two scrambled eggs with two sausage patties
- Tossed salad with ranch
- Two pieces of meatloaf with an oopsie roll with cheese, onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Tossed salad with ranch
- A piece of meatloaf with a breadstick with marinara sauce

Low carb menu

2011-11-22T08:54:00.000-08:00

- Three scrambled eggs with ham
- Unpotato salad
- Pork bbq with pork rinds
- Tossed salad with cucumbers, celery, hard boiled egg, cheese, tomato and bacon bits with ranch
- Meatloaf on half an oopsie roll with tomato, lettuce and mayo

Low carb menu

2011-11-21T12:28:00.000-08:00

- Chicken stir-fry with chicken, yellow squash, onions, cabbage and broccoli with korean marinade
- Pizza hut breadstick muffin with marinara sauce
- BBQ pork rinds
- Open face pork bbq on an oopsie roll with deluxe American cheese and diced onions
- Unpotato salad

Low carb menu

2011-11-20T11:02:00.000-08:00

- Pork bbq with a piece of deluxe American cheese
- Pork bbq with pork rinds
- Low carb brownie with low carb choc frosting
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie roll with onions, tomato, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup

Low carb menu

2011-11-19T07:47:00.000-08:00

- Pork bbq with home made bbq sauce
- Two chicken legs
- Sausage patty with three low carb pancakes
- Unpotato salad
- Breadstick muffin made with coconut flour and natural marinara sauce

Low carb menu

2011-11-18T07:48:00.000-08:00

- Three scrambled eggs with ham
- Just like velveeta rotel main dish
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting
- A rotisserie chicken leg and wing

Low carb menu

2011-11-17T10:21:00.000-08:00

- Just like Velveeta Rotel main dish
- Two low carb brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- One and a half pizza hut muffins with natural marinara sauce
- Taco bake with natural salsa and sour cream

Low carb menu and local sourcing

2011-11-16T07:31:00.000-08:00

- Three scrambled eggs with ham
- Half pound cheese burger patty with onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Low carb brownie with low carb frosting
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream

You know your eggs are free range when you drive up and the chickens scurry around! The Amish family that we get our eggs from are SO sweet and they seem to pop out another kid each year. They are just so appreciative of our business and we can feel good about getting our eggs from a good source. Plus, they are cheap and they just taste better.

We need to get some good, grass fed beef next.

Low carb menu

2011-11-15T05:32:00.000-08:00

- Just like velveeta main dish
- Low carb brownie with low carb peanut butter frosting
- Half pound burger patty with onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Ring bologna slices with swiss and cheddar chunks
- Low carb meatloaf with cheesy broccoli and cauliflower

My girlfriend and I went to the chiropractor yesterday and Daisy (the English setter) got her stitches removed from her hind leg. She had a suspicious-looking mass removed last week and the vet said that if it were him, he would not even bother to send it to the lab because it looked fine. He is a very well-respected vet, so I listened to his advice. He really is just so reasonably priced and also very good with animals. Some people drive up to three hours each way just to see him and I travel about three hours round-trip to see him because he is that good.

My mom lives nearby the vet, so she made us dinner while Angie finished plasticing her windows. I was so appreciative that she took the time to make us low carb fare. I don't expect people to cater to my lifestyle, as it's my lifestyle choice and not theirs, but it was sooo good and much appreciated. She even says that she has been low carbing, too! We took her over some zucchini lasagna and low carb brownies last week that she has been enjoying.

Low carb menu

2011-11-14T08:40:00.000-08:00

- Half pound cheese burger patty with onions and tomato
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream
- Two sausage patties with a low carb waffle and sugar free syrup
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie roll with onions, tomato, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup

I made the taco bake with two pounds of ground beef instead of just one. I also doubled the amount of taco seasoning that it called for. It's a winner for sure!

Low carb menu

2011-11-13T08:38:00.001-08:00

- Two sausage patties
- Quarter pound hamburger patty with two hot dogs and a tomato slice
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with tomato and onion
- Unpotato salad
- A few bites of natural peanut butter

Low carb menu

2011-11-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

- Half pound hamburger on an oopsie with unpotato salad
- Low carb brownie with pb frosting
- Cheesy squash with two hot dogs with onions, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Cucumbers with ranch dressing
- Unpotato salad
- Brownie with pb frosting

Low carb menu and not eating my feelings

2011-11-11T03:42:00.000-08:00

- Waffle with one sausage patty with sugar free syrup
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound burger on an oopsie roll with tomato, onion, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Cheesy spaghetti squash casserole
- Brownie with low carb frosting

When I used to be upset, pissed off, mad at the world, feeling sorry for myself, whatever... I would medicate myself with food. Food is not a very suitable medication for me... So last night, when I wanted to binge, I got out my journal and wrote, wrote, wrote until I felt like all of my feelings were on paper. It felt good to give a voice to the feelings, if nothing else. It felt good to honor how I felt and take care of myself a little bit, by giving my feelings a place to go instead of just stuffing them down. Over-indulging when I really just feel sad never really helps anyway until I just want to eat more, more more and just end up fall asleep anyway. I ended up going to bed early anyway and I'm sure it took me longer to get to sleep than it would have if I binged, but I laid there with my feelings and just felt them until sleep finally carried me away. I think exercising, cleaning and the like would also be a good way of distracting myself from my feelings, but it was nice to give them a voice for once.

I had a dream that I binged last night. It was a pretty horrible dream. I was eating some kind of junk food and I was like a pig in shit, just loving it way too much. It was very odd and I hated the way I felt after binging in the dream.

Easy low carb peanut butter frosting

2011-11-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

Easiest, Yummiest Frosting EVER!

- 4 tablespoons natural peanut butter
- 8 tablespoons heavy whipping cream
- 8 teaspoons splenda
- 1 tablespoon sugar free maple syrup (like an over the counter pancake syrup)

So, I actually got the idea from this recipe from Linda Sue's magic peanut butter pudding recipe, so I must give the low carb genius Linda credit here.

I whipped up this recipe because I was in need of a sweet frosting for my coconut flour brownies. I wanted to frost them because my girlfriend does not like nuts, so I left them out. Where I'm from, brownies require either nuts or a good frosting, so the latter was in order.

Now, I'm not lying when I tell you that this is the most satisfying, fudgiest dessert that I have ever indulged in in all of my twenty-nine years on this planet. The best news? It's freaking LOW CARB. This was the first recipe that I have ever made using coconut flour and I'm still in low carb bliss. You can pick up these babies with your hands, but they are really best when you use a fork. The only problem that I foresee? No dessert will EVER be as good as this one. It's kind of like when you have had the best pizza in the world... No pizza will ever stand up to it, so it kind of makes all other pizza less-than-spectacular in your own mind.

Low carb menu

2011-11-10T07:33:00.000-08:00

- Chicken sausage mushroom casserole
- More casserole
- Waffle with sugar free syrup
- More casserole
- Unpotato salad

Feelings on losing over 100 pounds

2011-11-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

I weighed in this morning at 198.4! A new all-time low for me and back in one-derland! Wahooo.... I really thought that the low carb peanut butter cookies may have messed me up some, but it turns out that it's all about eating the right kind of treats for me. Next time, I may up the amount of liquid splenda in the cookies because they could have been sweeter if you ask me. I froze some of the cookies for a special low carb Thanksgiving treat this year called Drumstick Treat. With liquid splenda, that is only five carbs per serving! Liquid splenda is on sale if you purchase the bigger bottles of it, which makes it very affordable, in terms of cost and the carb count (zero!)... We are doing Thanksgiving day here at my house, low carb style, but we will be indulging in plenty of yummy low carb goodness. Both me and the girlfriend have a sweet~tooth, so we always have lots of sweets around the house. Low-carb-style, of course!

My dad has a get-together post-Thanksgiving where all of us seven kids get together, so I'm having a planned deviation on that day. My goal is to eat a reasonable amount of food where I'm not going to have to nap or feel sick afterward. I'm going to see the whole spread and really pick and choose what I want, because last time I binged at the Chinese buffet, it really made me nauseous, sick and worthless. Those feelings make me not even want to go off~plan too much, which is actually a good thing.

I made a pan of brownies that need to stay in the fridge overnight, which will be hard to resist. I licked the beaters (and the bowl - don't judge me!) and the batter tastes like better-than-boxed mix! My sweetie is not much of a nut person, so I omitted them. I'm going to whip up either a chocolate frosting or a peanut butter frosting to go with them - the girlfriend's choice.

I'm in the throes of making some zucchini lasagna. I do think about food a lot, which I wonder if that will ever change. Obviously, nobody gets to over 300 lbs like I did without being obsessed with it... The only difference is that now, I feel like I have some control over it. Before, I literally felt like I had no choice but to eat copious amounts of food. I'm not sure what has changed, but I really give credit to cutting out foods that are too easy for me to binge on... (like pasta, bread, the like). For example, I never just made one sandwich. It was always two. Then I'd graze back into the kitchen to nosh on more crap, almost without even wanting to. Now, I never go back for seconds. I think it's because I'm getting enough nutrients in the foods that I eat (along with supplements) that my body is not always yelling, "feed me!"

I insist on having several low-carb options in the fridge, but it's more because when I'm hungry, I'm hungry and I don't want to necessarily have to wait a half an hour or an hour preparing the food before I'm able to eat. This has really helped me to stay on-plan. Plus, we never have non-low-carb food even in the house, which has been such a good decision. The other day, my girlfriend noticed that I had something Hershey's in the cart and she immediately questioned me about it. She got off my back once she noticed that they were sugar free.

Oct says that she doesn't think about food except on free day and I wonder if I will ever get to that point.

I also find myself cooking a lot because I feel like it's one of the few things that I can do around the house, being in a wheelchair. Every time I mention me being in a wheelchair, I feel like I need to remind everybody (myself mostly) that it's temporary. I really feel for the people who can't get out of their wheelchairs. That has been one thing that I really can empathize with people on. My highschool's health class made every student go around in a wheelchair for one day to see what it was like to be stuck in one and of course, everybody hated it, but I think it was a good exercise in empathy. Plus, I cook a lot because Angie (yes me and my gf have the same name) is always so appreciative of it and I've always loved to cook for friends and family.

Even when I have awesome-tasting food that is in the fridge and ready-to-nuke, I just don't go for it because I wait until I'm hungry. I don't always do this, but I'd say that 90% of the time, I'm successful with waiting for my body to tell me it's time to eat, versus a clock or me just wanting to eat. Even last night, I was in my office, doing some work on the computer, when my super-amazing gf came in with a freshly made waffle, just for me. I begged her to take it out, not because I didn't want it hot and fresh, but because I just wasn't hungry yet. I had just eaten two sausage patties within that hour, so my body was not even asking for food yet. There once was a point where I NEVER felt hunger pangs and I only quit eating when I was so full that it was painful. This is disgusting to me.

I also still find myself making fat jokes about myself, even though I'm only twenty-three pounds from goal. 23 more pounds and I will not even be in the "overweight" category according to those weight charts. I think I have always beat others to the punch with a fat joke and I really do identify with being big, even though I'm getting smaller all the time.

What about you all? Can you relate to any of this?