Day 118... trying to get more lean!

Day 118

- Low carb french vanilla protein shake with a scoop of french vanilla protein powder, 1 T natural peanut butter (chunky), half cup water, a few ice cubes, Sweetleaf Stevia, 1 heaping teaspoon sugar free butterscotch pudding mix, shredded unsweetened coconut, all blended with my stick blender
- 100 calorie pack (0.63 oz) cocoa roasted almonds = 2 carbs (portion control for the win!)
- Low carb pancakes with two sausage patties... all with Walden's pancake syrup
- Double cheeseburger on an oopsie roll with tomato, onions, mayo and reduced sugar ketchup

Nancy - I would say for the whole shake, it has about eight carbs or so maybe ten... I'm just estimating though... 3 carbs for the protein powder... 2 for the peanut butter, 2 for the pudding mix, and maybe 2 for the coconut... I love this shake! it tastes too good to be true. You could add heavy cream, but I don't that to my shakes because I'm trying to watch my dairy intake... I am a cheese-a-holic so I like to reserve lots of my dairy for that.

Day 115 - Buffet mode - ugh!

Day 115

- Low carb all-natural vanilla protein shake with 1 tablespoon natural peanut butter, 1/4 cup unsweetened, shredded coconut and Sweetleaf Stevia to taste
- Salad with eggs, cheese, raw mushrooms, bacon bits and ranch dressing
- Salisbury steak with gravy and mushrooms, green beans, cooked cabbage, sausage link with green pepper, roast beef with reduced sugar ketchup (yes - I bring my own), deep fried chicken breast (skin peeled off) dipped in ranch dressing

WOW! Old Country Buffet sure has a lot of options for eating healthy. Now, I'm sure a lot of it has hidden carbs... you really never know what you are getting sometimes. Unfortunately, I was sooo hungry when we arrived there today so I ate and ate and ate and ate some more! I ate five hours ago and I'm still soooo not hungry. I was famished and in buffet-mode... but thank goodness that I stayed away from ALL of the carb-laden crap. I'm sure the gravy was not the best choice and I only had a tad of it... I tried to get a piece with not much on it.

Day 109 Low Carb Daily

Day 109

- Low carb vanilla protein shake with shredded coconut, natural peanut butter and stevia
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream
- Swiss cheeseburger on an oopsie roll with tomato, onion, mayo, mustard and reduced sugar ketchup
- Macaroons
- Josie's Spaghetti squash monterey
- Bologna and smoked cheddar cheese an an oopsie with mayo

Day 108 and feeling great

Day 108

- Double cheeseburger with romaine lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, mustard and reduced sugar ketchup on an oopsie roll
- Josie's spaghetti squash monterey
- Macaroons
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream

Day 106 Low Carb for LIFE!

DAY 106

- Swiss cheeseburger off the grill with romaine lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo and reduced sugar ketchup, all on an oopsie roll
- Low carb pancakes with Walden's pancakes syrup
- Low carb macaroons made with zero carb sweetener
- Low carb pancakes with zero carb pancake syrup with two sausage patties

Check out my weight update! Yippeeeeeee!

Day 105 Low Carbohydrate Food List

DAY 105 of my Low Carb Life

- Low carb natural vanilla protein shake with natural peanut butter, shredded coconut and stevia
- Zucchini, coated in egg and Parmesan cheese - pan fried in butter
- Grilled pork chop, dipped in ketchup
- No bake low carb peanut butter cheesecake with whipped cream
- Swiss cheeseburger on an oopsie roll with tomatoes, onions, mayo, mustard and reduced sugar ketchup
- 1 oz smoked cheddar cheese

Day 104 Low Carb Journey

Day 104 Low Carb

- French vanilla protein shake with shredded coconut and stevia
- Shrimp dipped in low carb cocktail sauce
- Broccoli stuffed baked chicken breast
- Side salad with purple onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, cheddar and ranch dressing
- Hamburger with lettuce, tomato, onions, mayo and ketchup on an oopsie roll
- Two pancakes with zero carb pancake syrup and two sausage patties

Day 103 - Low Carb Daily

DAY 103

- Meatballs and swiss on an oopsie with a little sugar free spaghetti sauce
- Broccoli-stuffed baked chicken breast
- Buttered steamed broccoli and cauliflower
- Meatballs and swiss on an oopsie with a little sugar free spaghetti sauce

I can't believe it's been 103 days already. These days would have passed whether I decided to do anything about my weight or not, so I'm glad that I'm making good decisions. If I could say I've learned one thing in 27 years, it's that life is transitory. Everything is fleeting... It's so exciting and exhausting all at the same time! Don't blink or you'll miss it!

Day 102 Low-Carb Daily

Day 102 Low Carb

- Low-carb coconut vanilla protein shake (a scoop of natural whey protein powder, a few ice cubes, a half cup of water, 1/3 cup shredded coconut, 8 drops stevia, and 1 tsp peanut butter)*
- Swiss cheeseburger with tomato, onions, mayo, mustard and reduced sugar ketchup on an oopsie roll
- Broccoli-cauliflower gratin
- A piece of peanut butter cheesecake
- Meatballs in sugar free marinara sauce, served over spaghetti squash
- Sugar-free Creamsicle (2 net carbs)

*I usually use more peanut butter than this... but with the two peanut butter cheesecakes I've made recently... I'm out of natural peanut butter! Thanks to Harry for the protein shake idea!

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.... It's about learning to dance in the rain! ~Author Unknown

Day 101 Low-carb: Still having fun

Day 101 Low Carb Daily

- LC peanut butter protein shake with coconut*
- Broccoli - cauliflower gratin
- Meatballs with Hunt's sugar free marinara sauce over spaghetti squash with an oopsie on side
- 1 oz raw almonds/walnuts mixed
- Two chicken breast tenders, coated in Parmesan cheese
- Swiss cheeseburger with tomato, onions, ketchup, mustard and mayo on an oopsie roll

This peanut butter/coconut shake is incredible! I swear, with the addition of the coconut, this filled me up for a long time. The coconut makes it so much thicker.... Thanks to the Healthy Fellow for the awesome recipe!

Day 100 Yay! Virutal cocktail party with shrimp....

DAY 100 - If I can get to day 100, anybody can....

- Cottage cheese from Cracker Barrel
- Half pound bacon cheeseburger with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, ketchup and mayo on an oopsie from Cracker Barrel
- A piece of peanut butter cheesecake
- 1 oz raw almonds/walnuts mix
- A small grilled pork rib with reduced sugar ketchup
- Four jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese
- Shrimp dipped in low carb cocktail sauce*

To make this cocktail sauce, I just mixed Heinz reduced sugar ketchup with some Horseradish. It turned out so good! I learned this easy recipe when I worked at this deli. Start out by just adding a little bit of horseradish and slowly add more, tasting it as you go. I use at least a couple teaspoons per half cup... at least. Every day when we would have deep fried shrimp for the special, I would be in charge of whipping this easy two-ingredient cocktail sauce.

Day 97 Low Carb Food Log

DAY 97

- "The 2x2x2" Two low-carb pancakes with sugar free syrup, two cheesy scrambled eggs and two sausage patties
- Turkey and swiss with tomato and mayo on an oopsie roll
- No bake peanut butter cheesecake with whipped cream
- A slice of pizza on cauliflower pizza crust* with Hunt's sugar free sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni, sausage, ham and mushrooms
- Two coconut-crusted chicken breast tenders

Exercise:
34 mins on Recumbent Bike

*This pizza crust freezes very nicely.

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." ~Bob Moawad

Day 96 Low Carb Daily

DAY 96 Low Carb Menu

- "The 2 x 2" (two pancakes with LC pancake syrup and two sausage patties... with a little more syrup)
- A piece of no bake peanut butter cheesecake with whipped cream
- Parmesan cheese crusted baked chicken breast
- Broccoli mushroom casserole
- Grilled burger with swiss cheese, garden tomatoes, lettuce, onions, mustard, mayo and reduced sugar ketchup on an oopsie roll
- Two slices deluxe American cheese

Exercise:
32 minutes on recumbent bike - I'm rewatching all of the episodes of Sex and the City while I do my bike... and I'm loving it!

Day 95: Alive, Alive!

Day 95 Low Carb Foods

- Grilled hamburger with colby jack cheese, romaine lettuce, tomato, onions, mayo, mustard and reduced sugar ketchup - on an oopsie roll
- Broccoli mushroom casserole
- 3 low carb pancakes with Walden's sugar free pancake syrup and a sausage patty
- Grilled hamburger with swiss with lettuce, tomato, onion, mustard, mayo, ketchup on an oopsie

Exercise:
1 mile brisk walk

I went to the park with my 4 year old niece and her baby brother. She is like, 4 going on 20 with her vocabulary. She has recently been quoted as saying, "There are lots of fun activities in pre-kindergarten." My niece is so cute. You would think she would call me "Aunt Angela..." but she prefers to shorten it to simply "Aunt." She learned several months ago that I just love it when she calls me "her silly little aunt." What I really love is her calling me little!! Nobody has called me that! We had a lot of fun at the park. My nephew could not stop grinning when I was swinging him in the park's baby swing. The whole point of this journey is being able to live more. The "baby" is almost not even a baby anymore... How time flies when you are having fun!

When there is no finish line

I've been exercising daily.... and it feels incredible. Like I have control over my body... It sounds bizarre, but before I started this program, it was like I had no control over my eating habits. I would literally "find" myself driving to McDonald's with huge orders, acting like the food was not all for me. This would always leave me feeling sick and tired... yet the addiction was so strong... it didn't matter. I was so unhappy with my body that I could not even look in the mirror. Nobody should have to live like that. Yet, I would turn around and cope more with food... creating a very vicious cycle. Food addiction is real.

Each night, walking to the bathroom, I would wonder why I ate so much that day. It was like I just knew I was going to mess up. I never really held myself to any kind of standard with sticking to a plan, so I just gave up trying.

I still think about food a lot, but at least it's to the degree that I can control my eating. I was actually considering weight loss surgery (and had the BMI to do so). I'm extremely happy that I did not make this decision... but really, I considered it and thought it was the only way "out" of my morbidly obese body.

My brother, who is an RN, really did not think that surgery was a good option for me, as he has personally seen the struggles one goes through with an option like this. This is not about weight loss surgery... I actually commend and admire those courageous enough to take this desperate step to regain their health. For many, it IS necessary. My ex boyfriend at the time was also against it. He performs sleep studies and said that I was "not big enough" for surgery... as he gives sleep studies to people before they have it. He also told me something that I still hold with me to this day.

"Angela, I won't love you any more if you have this surgery," is what he said. I didn't realize until he said this that maybe that was what I was after... anyway. Thankfully, I lost my dad's incredible health insurance when I got my Bachelor's degree, so no surgery for me.

I've been "big" since as long as I can remember. From my school pictures, first grade seems to be the year that I really started to balloon. I must mention, in kindergarten, my dad would pick me up from school and we would (always) stop and get a Happy Meal. He never would get anything... he would just come back home and sleep while I munched my meal down. See, he worked third shift at the prison and so he slept during the day while my three older brothers were at school and my mom was at work. Sometimes, after my "happy" meal... I would find myself "hungry" (read: craving carbs), so I would snack on plain white Wonder bread. That year started my carbohydrate addiction. My parents soon divorced, and I turned to food for comfort.

I tried low-fat (unsuccessfully) several times in high school, consuming white bread with jelly for breakfast and whole bowls of minute rice with fat-free butter, thinking I was doing "good." I liked the idea of low-fat because I was never much of a meat eater anyway... and bread was my FAVORITE. I was entirely convinced that low-fat was the way to go... but I knew that for some reason, I could not stick to it. Now, I understand that my body was not getting the nutrition it needed, which left me constantly hungry for real food.

I just want you to know, my food addiction was serious. My legs could literally not support my growing, large body. In sixth grade, I had such severe knock-knees that they required surgery. Experimental surgery, we later found out. I had both knees operated on over the next year... My doctor performed my left knee surgery too early, resulting in an over-correction my leg. It swung too far the other way. Luckily, he operated on my right knee just at the right time (miraculously). See, my surgeon (and I'm using that term loosely) did not have any clue I would grow to be 5'10,'' so he did my left knee surgery too early.

After this orthopaedic pediatric surgeon was done, I was left with an arthritic, degenerative knee and a one-inch leg length discrepancy, which has caused major issues with my back and will surely cause hip issues. Thankfully, I have an amazing chiropractor who beats me up when I need it. I have issues with this orthopaedic pediatric surgeon (again, using this term very loosely), clearly, but it was really a surgery I needed. I just wish he would have done the proper wrist x-ray to see how long my growth portion was. It's a simple chart. Of course, most people don't grow so tall, but my whole family is tall!

The reason for my surgery was knock-knees... but really, the reason was obesity. What caused my obesity was my large consumption of carbohydrates. I'm just saying, this disease/ailment/whatever you want to call it... obesity... has taken enough of my health and beaten up my body enough. I will not be a victim of it anymore. Being a victim may be fun at time time, but it gives you no power and ultimately... screws you over.

I've already had a botched surgery (weight-related)... so I'm not really the type to think of surgery as a way to fix anything. I know it does work, and I know I need a lot more... but it really just freaks me out. During my second surgery, I actually woke up on the operating table... I do not have any memory of this, but the anesthesiologist had all kinds of questions for me when I woke up, like do I sleepwalk. Why, yes, I do... He said that my body does not go into paralysis when it should. They told me I ripped my IV's out and was kicking and screaming... I do NOT remember this, but I'm sure it was horrific. I woke up with my IV in a different place, and I asked about it.

Anyway, I can't look back. I do not feel sorry for myself. In fact, I feel such little knee pain now. I went to a surgeon when I was 21, six years ago, and I was shocked at the x-rays. The doctor who screwed up my left knee in the first place did not even tell me that when he went to take out my staples in my knee, he did not even get them out. Might have been nice to mention that. Imagine my surprise when I saw my x-rays with all the staples! I'm sure he charged the insurance company properly to remove them... Can you tell I'm bitter?

To get on with it, the second surgeon had no idea about what to do... he was talking about taking out wedge of a bone here and there to make my legs the same length. I told him that I was not as worried about the length of my legs (as I have a one inch lift on my shoe anyway), but I was more worried about the functionality of my knee. He even told me he was clueless and wanted to consult a friend of his... I actually appreciated that.

"What if I don't get surgery at all?" I asked.

"Well, then you won't have a knee at all," he chuckled. Now, I'm just as sarcastic as the next person, but this guy's sense of humor left a lot to be desired.

He told me that I would be looking at a knee replacement when I turn 40, so I asked him, why not replace it now? He told me that my knee was too deformed for a knee replacement and I would need several surgeries just to prepare for that. I ran out of that office and haven't looked back. I was not even in (any) pain six years ago... so why was he wanting to cut me up? Oh yeah... you only go to a surgeon for surgery.... just like you go to the barber shop for a haircut!

Since my mother is an amputee, I see first-hand that our limbs are not immortal. Anyway, I did take one piece of his advice seriously.

"If you really want to help yourself, lose weight," he said bluntly and disappeared.

By then I knew I was a carbohydrate addict, and I went on a plan called the Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, where I lost 65 lbs in 8 months. However, I basically just binged every night and it was not healthy for me. I really wasn't following it properly because I never ate salad with dinner like they recommend. Needless to say, since it was not a lifestyle change, I just eventually gained (nearly) every pound back.

This is why I no longer even really care how long it takes me to lose my weight. I mean, there is to end to low-carb for me. When people ask me how long it will take them to lose x amount of pounds doing Atkins, I just have to laugh... because if you want to maintain any kind of weight loss... then there is no finish line.

In the past six years, I've restarted Atkins, sometimes several times per week. I think of all those false attempts as learning experiences where I learned great recipes, great tips, etc. I just wasn't ready yet. Oh, and it's all psychological for me, despite me going on and on about my physical symptoms of obesity. I just want you to know that no matter how desperate of a situation you are in... it can be turned around. I'm 19.4 lbs away from my lowest adult weight and I can't wait!

It totally breaks my heart to see youngsters with knock knees like I had. I saw this Tyra show where this one 13 year old girl reminded me of myself... with her knock-knees... and it was very upsetting. Parents need to get real and quit abusing their children with food, acting like they are "treating" them to something. To quote Jackie Guerra, "[The parents] are sentencing their children to a lifetime in fat prison for a crime they didn't commit. "

Do I personally blame my parents? Goodness, no. My mom fed us grilled food every night... She just didn't realize how horrible the Rice a Roni and bread was for us... and I always ate seconds if not thirds of these options. In fact, many nights, I would skip the meat altogether.

So, if you wonder why I'm so serious about this... I have a lot at stake. The good news is, I'm turning it all around. I would say, see you at the finish line... but we all know there is none. So, let's enjoy this marathon together!

Day 94

Day 94 Low Carbohydrate Food Log

- Three low carb pancakes* with Walden's zero carb pancake syrup and two sausage patties
- Cheesy tuna casserole
- Swiss cheeseburger off the grill with romaine lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, mustard and mayo on an oopsie roll
- Broccoli mushroom casserole

Exercise:
1 mile brisk walk

*This is the first time I've made these pancakes. WOW, they sure are rich! They have the actual texture of real pancakes. These are absolutely incredible. I used vanilla whey protein powder in place of the soy plain protein powder, so maybe that is part of the reason mine taste so "rich." If you are a pancake eater, you are sure to love these.... and they will keep you full for a long time because they are loaded with protein. Maybe next time, I will just make half the batch... because now I have lots of leftovers. Pancakes, anyone?

Day 93 Every day, I feel more FREE!

DAY 93 Low Carb Food Log

- Cheesy tuna casserole
- Swiss cheeseburger with onion, lettuce, mustard mayo and ketchup on an oopsie
- Half a piece of peanut butter cheesecake with whipped cream
- Tostada on a cauliflower taco shell with taco meat, lettuce, salsa, cheddar cheese and sour cream

Exercise:
48 minutes on the recumbent bike

Day 91 Low Carb: Still Having Fun!

DAY 91 and still having fun!

- Swiss cheeseburger on an oopsie roll with mayo and ketchup
- A piece of BLT pizza with swiss cheese and mayo on cauliflower pizza crust
- A piece of Taco pizza with salsa, taco meat, sour cream, cheddar cheese, lettuce and tomato on cauliflower pizza crust
- A slice of deluxe American cheese

Exercise:
- 40 mins on recumbent bicycle

DAY 90 Low Carb Menu

DAY 90 Low Carb Food Journal

- Chunky chicken vegetable soup
- One chicken breast tender with 1/2 piece eggplant parmesan
- Two snickerdoodles (finally, they are gone!)
- 1 oz smoked turkey
- A slice of BLT pizza with mayo on cauliflower pizza crust

Exercise:
- 33 minutes on bike
- Sit-ups on ab roller

Day 89: Am I out of my mind?

DAY 89 Low Carb Life

- French toast made from oopsie with Walden's Sugar Free syrup, 2 sausage patties and one cheesy scrambled egg
- Cheeseburger on an oopsie with lettuce, onion, mayo, mustard and ketchup
- Snickerdoodles - too many
- Roast beef and deluxe american cheese on an oopsie with mayo

I had six snickerdoodles yesterday! Eek! Well, the good news is they are almost gone and I'm sure that it only added up to 5 carbs total, if that. But still, the day before my weigh-in... that was the worst idea ever.

I think I like cheesecakes for a low carb option best for me because not only do you get that satisfaction from the sweet, but you also get almost a whole meal's worth of stuff to digest, so it's very satisfying.

Snickerdoodles, you will be reserved for holidays and family parties! They would be great to serve a crowd so you don't end up eating half the batch.