Weeknight Shrimp Vegetable Toss

This recipe is so easy to throw together and it's what I've been eating. It makes enough for a crowd or just several meals you can microwave later in the week.

There are no real directions... just throw together in your favorite, greased, large Pyrex baking dish!

1 spaghetti squash, cooked

2 - 4 oz cans of mushrooms, drained

1 jar of Alfredo sauce

12 oz broccoli, cooked tender-crisp

3/4 pound of cooked shrimp, with tailed pulled off.

1 tomato, diced - optional

1/2 roasted red pepper, sliced (I used some out of a jar) - optional

Basil and parsley to taste

Salt and pepper to taste

Top with parmesan cheese. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes until heated through.

This recipe is actually quite good... It reminds me a lot of shrimp pasta. You could certainly add carrots and peas if you are not watching your carb count that closely... This one is a winner! I didn't even bake mine because I wasn't eating it right away.... I just have been nuking it, bowl after bowl!

Low carbing for my coat

Good news! My coat from last year still fits! It is a size 18/20 and thankfully, all of the buttons snap! I was seriously afraid to put it on. I was having visions of it not fitting! Now, it's not a perfect fit and it does kind of split out between my boobs at the buttons

Last October was when I hit my all-time low of 245.0 pounds. That is the lowest that I have ever seen on the scale in my adult life!!!! I have not been on the scale in forever, but I am guessing that I'm somewhere in the 270s or maybe a little more.

I never really know how big I am. I mean, now, in my body today, I feel bigger than I have been, yet I know this is not the case. I'm wearing a size 38C bra that I thought at one time would never fit me and I seriously even considered donating it to Good Will back then.

Today, during my walk, something really sad happened. This has never happened before!!! Usually, when I do feel knee pain (just in the knee that has the wrong angle on it), it's not when I'm up moving around. I usually walk about a mile at least with my dog and today, I literally had to quit mid-way and turn around due to my knee pain. Just a wake-up call that I need to lose this weight sooner than later.

I don't know why I think it's sad. That is victim-mentality. I mean, I had my corrective knee surgery for my knock knees a little too early on the one knee, which left an angle wrong on it.... which will surely lead to arthritis. The last bone doctor I went to, told me that if I really want to help myself, lose some weight.... and I was right around the same weight that I am now when he told me that....

When comfort eating no longer helps

I need to eat right because I love myself... and love myself enough when I do make the wrong choices to get back to making the right ones, whenever possible.... which I guess is all the time and I KNOW this. I have lost a lot of weight in the past when I was working at a freaking bakery and deli, so I know it's just about avoiding the wrong choices and eating the right ones.

I feel like I just want to be "naughty" and eat the wrong ones, but what the fuck is that about? I feel like it's the 5 year old girl who got comfort from eating... and still does... sadly.

As much as I just want to binge and eat everything bad lately, the universe is telling me that it will not bring me happiness. I think that is when my food addiction will finally end... when it quits working.... and it pretty much has, thank goodness!

I still fit into my winter tops from last year, which are size 18/20. I'm on the downward spiral, dammit! Even if I am kicking and screaming!

My mom is on-plan with me, I mean, she is sick of being fat and she is all for the "meat and veggies" plan that we have around here when we are eating right.

Last time I lived with a boyfriend, I would just make all these low carb meals and then end up chowing down the cereal and crackers later, anyway. I even talked about it ahead of time, that I could not have certain things in the house, but it kind of fell the the wayside... and trust me, I was right there, cheering him on when he suggested pizza. Ultimately, I'm in charge of my body... and my future.. and my, everything.....

For me, losing weight is just finally growing up and stopping these childish habits.