Saturday, December 31, 2011

Low carb menu

- Tuna salad
- Sausage quiche with mushrooms, green pepper and onions
- Three hot dogs on half an oopsie roll with mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two pieces of low carb drumstick treat
- Five baby smoky links, cheesy (2 carbs for five of them)

Exercise: Day four of the 30 Day Shred

Friday, December 30, 2011

Low carb menu

- Three scrambled eggs (fried in butter) with two sausage patties
- Hamburger/hot dog quiche with mushrooms, cheese, onions and bell pepper
- Two sausage patties
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
- Tuna salad with celery, mayo, liquid splenda, bell pepper, hard boiled egg and sugar free relish

Exercise: Third day in a row of week one of the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Low carb menu

- Hamburger~hotdog~bell pepper~onion~mushroom quiche
- Two sausage patties
- More quiche
- Green bean casserole with hamburger and ham added

Exercise: Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred workout, week one plus a pack walk with the dogs and girlfriend

You need hand weights (light ones) to do many of the strength-training workouts on this particular dvd and I only have one ten-pound weight, so I improvised and used jars of natural spaghetti sauce instead. Hey, it pays to stock up sometimes!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Low carb menu and Jillian Michaels kicked my bootie

- Cheeseburger~hotdog supreme
- Pork chop breaded with Parmesan with low carb ketchup
- Dottie's green bean casserole with ham and burger added in
- Two sausage patties with two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup

I will have to post the recipe for the cheeseburger~hot dog supreme later on. It's really good, actually and was just born from what we had in our kitchen.

So last night, we did the workout for part one of Jillian's 30 day shred and wow, did it ever work us out! I did have to rely on my walker for some of the running routines because my knee is not 100% yet after surgery, but that workout was unbelievable! I also had to do some modified push ups because I can't lay on the floor yet face-down, but I made due and certainly got in a good, hard workout. After being in the wheelchair then the walker, it felt great to get my blood pumping!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas and such

Hope everybody had a very Merry Christmas!

We went and celebrated with my grandma on Christmas Eve and spent the night with my mom that night. We woke up and had our traditional sausage and egg breakfast sandwiches then we went and ate dinner at my favorite brother's house. He could not leave the house because he was on-call (yeah, cable guys are even on call during the holidays), so he made us a nice salad and potroast. I had some of the best wine at my brother's house.

We came back here on Christmas day and I had a donut to celebrate the holiday and we opened presents. Angie got me a cute bathrobe, a gorgeous rose gold necklace and earrings that are sooo gorgeous (she says that pretty girls should wear pretty things), a dvd, a little lit-up bakery as part of a little Victorian Christmas village, some pans that I asked for (nice pyrex ones), a pug calendar and pug socks because I'm totally in love with our pug, some dish towels that are totally Christmassy and I'm like obsessed with dish towels for some reason (every time I'm at our dollar store, one mysteriously winds up in the cart) plus two ornaments and one that I can't think of right now. We were starting our tradition of exchanging one Christmas ornament per year, but I totally dropped the ball when I ran out of time to make it. However, leave it to Angie to get two ornaments, so she said that one of them can be from me to her. How thoughtful is she? She filled my stocking with the cutest nail polish, cute little popcorn containers I've been eyeing plus an O magazine. My mom gave us $100 bill, which is totally awesome. I mostly got Angie Old Navy stuff because she has practically no clothes that fit her now that she has lost almost ninety pounds. She is into about a men's size large (XL if you ask her because she wears everything several sizes too big).

I did quite a bit of low carb baking, including chewy chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, coconut brownies and drumstick treat on the day before Christmas Eve, which was fun. It's nice to be able to have treats that won't make me sick, but I need to remember that they are indeed treats and do not need to be consumed daily. I left my mom and brother with some of the healthy treats and the rest are in the freezer, except for the drumstick treat, which probably wouldn't freeze well anyway. Plus, it's a nice option for us to eat when we are back on plan with eating low carb. I didn't go crazy over the holiday, but I certainly indulged enough where I do not feel like I need to make up for it because I was cheated in any way.

We are celebrating at my dad's house with my five brothers and sister on New Year's Eve Day, which should be fun. I hope all the boys can make it. Angie has a special question for my dad, which makes me nervous, but she is old-school like that. Everybody loves her. My dad was apprehensive about me having a girlfriend at first, but he sees how good she treats me and how happy we are together and last time he hung out with her, he was telling her what a good listener she is. She really hit it off with my grandma too, who was excited that she had somebody to tell her stories to who has never heard them... You know, the "80 years ago when I was a kid..." versions.

When I was at my brother's, I did this dance game on the xbox 360 connect, which was pretty cool. I was jsut happy that I could master most of the moves without being on my cane, so clearly, the knee front is on the up and up. I'm going to start doing Pilates on Netflix and last night, we picked up a Jillian Michaels' workout dvd, so I'm still putting my health at the top of my list.

Day-After-Christmas Menu:
- Sausage and cheese three egg omelet
- Three chewy chocolate chip low carb cookies
- BLT on an oopsie with mayo and cheese
- Drumstick treat

Friday, December 23, 2011

Low carb menu

- Unpotato salad with green pepper added
- Three egg cheese omelet
- Hamburger gravy on top of mashed cauliflower
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie roll with onions, tomato, lettuce, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two sausage patties with un-potato salad

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Low carb menu and trusting the universe

- Two sausage patties
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's pancake syrup
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting
- Half pound bun-less hamburger with mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- About 1/3 of a large movie theater popcorn

We had date night last night and Angie took me to see the newest Twilight movie. I was a little bit late hopping aboard the Twilight train, but it sure is awesome!

I knee news, I have taken quite a few steps without my cane or anything, which has been soo awesome. My surgeon told me "no pain, no limp" when it comes to walking around on my newly-reconstructed knee. If it hurts, I'm supposed to be on my cane for now. It does still kind of hurt when I'm sitting with my knee bent, but before surgery, it was much worse. I would literally lay in bed and complain to Angie that the arthritis was so severe that there was not a single position for me to place my knee where it would not be in the most throbbing, excruciating pain. I even just got used to dealing with pain, ignoring the constant signal to my brain that my knee was hurting. I came to realize that part of me felt that I deserved the pain for making myself so fat, when in reality, it had nothing to do with my weight. Sure, I'm sure that me being so big was not helping the problem, but nobody deserves that type of pain. As Angie would remind me, if it were only my weight causing the issues, both knees would hurt, whereas it was just the deformed one that hurt. My surgeon says that he has seen very thin people with the same kind of knee problem, and that it is completely unrelated to my weight. I still kind of only half-believe him, but he is the one who does over three hundred reconstructive knee surgeries per year, so he really knows his stuff. I will say one thing I know for sure, though. My knee pain was not helped by my then-obesity, that is for sure.

Tomorrow will be four months post-op and also when I smoked the last time. Last night, I went to let the dogs out before bed and I just started to walk around without my cane at all. Less than a month ago, walking on a cane was terrifying to me, but it's all about making progress, a little bit at a time. If I do end up needing the same kind of surgery on the bottom part of my knee, it will be fine. Getting through the last four months has been very difficult for me, but it has really shown me that I can overcome more than I ever dreamed.

It's so wild how life works out, isn't it? I never would have dreamed that I would be having knee surgery and being so happy with it. After all, I really blame much of my previous knee deformity on the botched surgery when I was only 12 years old.

I really didn't even realize that I was open to love or into getting a girlfriend at all, until Angie came along and our love was simply undeniable... I did not know from an early age that I was into girls. In fact, before my girlfriend, I just always was attracted to and had relationships with men. I'm happy for our love and I wouldn't have it any other way, but my point is, you never really know what life is going to deal you.

I have to give myself some credit for creating my destiny, though. Through good decisions and perseverance, I have lost over 100 lbs and am still losing. I was open to fixing my knee, so I sought out a top-notch surgeon whose plan I could trust. I was open to love and being with somebody who could make me feel more special and happier than I ever dreamed. When you are open, the universe will make you so happy... happier than you ever dreamed. I think that it is up to you to decide what you want, then the universe will find a way... probably much different from the "how" that you ever imagined... and much better, too.

I looked back at my entry for January 1, 2011 and I was eighty pounds heavier than I am now, single and not having any clue how I would deal with my knee pain. However, I said, "2011 is going to be my year... I just know it." And so it was.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties
- Hamburger gravy on mashed cauliflower
- Three egg cheese omelet, fried in butter and dipped in low carb ketchup
- Two sausage patties
- Mockafoni and cheese with low carb ketchup

Mockafoni for the win!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two bowls of home made creamy chicken veggie soup with celery, mushrooms, onions and green peppers
- Un-potato salad with green pepper added
- Two more bowls of super yummy soup
- Three oz pistachios (maybe four)
- Two low carb pancakes, plain
- Three beef sticks (small, pepperoni-like, less than one carb each)
- Two and a half drinks made with vodka and diet Mountain Dew

Monday, December 19, 2011

Low carb menu

- Mockafoni and cheese with low carb ketchup and 1/4 lb bunless burger with tomato, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with all the fixins with unpotato salad
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting
- Two low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Low carb menu

- Half pound bun-less burger with mayo, tomato, mustard and ketchup with mockafoni and cheese
- Two low carb pancakes, plain
- Mockafoni and cheese with low carb ketchup
- Hamburger gravy with mashed cauliflower

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two low carb brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- Hamburger gravy
- Half pound bunless burger with cheese, tomato, onion, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Mashed cauliflower with hamburger gravy

Friday, December 16, 2011

Low carb menu

- Three pieces of tilapia parmesan
- 1.5 gluten free brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- Chicken broccoli "rice" (riced cauliflower)
- Hamburger gravy

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Low carb menu

- Tilapia parmesan with chicken veggie "rice"
- Tilapia parmesan
- Tuna patty
- Two tuna patties on an oopsie with deluxe American cheese, mayo, lettuce and tomato dipped in low carb ketchup
- Chicken veggie "rice"
- A few bites of a gluten free brownie with low carb chocolate frosting

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Easy low carb chocolate frosting

- Half cup heavy whipping cream
- Two tablespoons cocoa powder
- Two tablespoons natural peanut butter
- Ten drops of liquid splenda
- Three teaspoons sugar free pancake syrup

Blend all ingredients in a bowl using an electric mixer. Easy-peasy! This makes enough frosting to frost a single-layer cake or brownies. Double for a double layer cake.

Low carb menu

- Three small pieces of strawberry jello cake (needed to be used up!)
- Tuna patty sandwich on an oopsie roll with two patties, mayo, lettuce, tomato and low carb ketchup
- Low carb peanut butter fudge
- Chicken broccoli "rice"

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Low carb recipe: Chicken veggie rice

- Three cups of cooked chicken, diced
- One head of cauliflower, grated with a cheese grater or food processor
- Five green onions, sliced
- Four teaspoons minced garlic
- One bag of frozen broccoli
- Half of a red or green pepper, diced (optional)
- One four ounce can of mushrooms
- Four tablespoons of butter and olive oil, each
- One cup heavy cream (8 oz)
- Two cups shredded cheddar (8 oz)

Grate cauliflower. Saute onions and garlic in the butter/olive oil in a large dutch oven and then add in the riced cauliflower, bell pepper, mushrooms and frozen broccoli. Cover and cook over medium heat, and stirring occasionally until tender.

Salt and pepper to taste and add heavy cream and cheddar cheese and cook until just melted.

Finally, add in cooked chicken and serve warm.

Low carb menu

- Three sausage patties
- Two tuna patties on an oopsie with cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato and low carb ketchup
- Peanut butter cookies with sugar free chocolate chips
- Three pieces of low carb pizza with sausage, ham, pepperoni, mushrooms, cheese, natural vodka sauce with ranch dressing
- BBQ pork rinds

Monday, December 12, 2011

Low carb menu and planning for Christmas

- Two tuna patties on an oopsie roll with mayo, lettuce and tomato dipped in low carb ketchup
- Four hot dogs with an oopsie with tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with sausage, ham, pepperoni, mozzarella and natural vodka sauce
- Low carb peanut butter cookies
- A few sugar free chocolate chips

These peanut butter cookies are REALLY good! I made a triple batch and I actually froze three bags of them to make drumstick treat later on in the year. I'm just setting myself up for success and this time of year, I'm really on this mindset that I deserve "treats" and I know better than to think that high-carb processed candy is the way to go, plus the drumstick treat is sooo decadent.

I asked my girlfriend if three drumstick treats should be enough to get us through the Christmas season, just joking around and she replied, "Yeah, but what are you going to eat?"

Drumstick treat has many layers, but it's worth the extra work in the kitchen to make a home made, from scratch dish that you know you and your loved ones can enjoy guilt-free this year.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties
- 1.25 waffles with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with cheese, sausage, ham, pepperoni and mushrooms with ranch and Parmesan cheese
- Low carb strawberry cake
- 1/4 cucumber sandwich on an oopsie with spiced mayo ala girlfriend

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Low carb menu

- Half an oopsie roll
- Two tuna patties
- Tuna patty sandwich on an oopsie with two patties, lettuce, tomato, mayo, cheese and low carb ketchup
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with sausage, mushrooms, pepperoni, ham, mozz and vodka sauce

Friday, December 9, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties
- Unpotato salad
- Half of a plain oopsie roll out of the oven
- Pepperoni
- Low carb strawberry cake

We finally got our first dumping of snow. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, that is for certain. We aren't going all crazy overboard for Christmas this year, but I do have a few more things that I would like to pick up.

In knee news, I'm pretty much off the walker and up on the cane! I never thought I would be so excited to be on a cane, but it's quite a difference. I'm pretty sure that the walker has also been making some cut marks on the linoleum, so I'm pretty much on the cane or in the wheelchair. I made the mistake of overdoing it on my first day up on the cane, pretty much using it exclusively and my knee sure did pay for it later. It was super duper painful and even when my dog rested her head on it that night, I nearly winced and screamed in pain. She felt so bad, poor thing! I need to progress slowly on it, using it more and more each day.

My goal for this weekend is to get my art studio organized. Like, really organized... labeled and all! I have a slew of art supplies, but they are not all that sorted, which is a crafter's nightmare. I'm looking forward to have a well-organized cute art studio to work in. Since I also work from home, it's actually also my home office. We have a two bedroom apartment and I took the bigger room for my office. We did it so it would be quieter because it's the one room that is not sharing any walls with our sometimes-loud neighbors. I'm great at helping others get organized, but this weekend, I seriously want a professional organizer to show up with her cute little label maker to save me! Help!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Menu for the day

- Two tuna patties with unpotato salad
- Two smallish plates from Chinese buffet with several lower carb options
- Low carb strawberry cake
- Unpotato salad

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Low carb menu, weigh in, Christmas shopping

- Two tuna patties
- Strawberry cake
- Tuna patty/cheese/mayo/lettuce/tomato on an oopsie with mayo and ketchup
- Mashed cauliflower with cream of mushroom soup as a gravy
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie with all the fixings

The strawberry cake is a winner... best three and a half carbs I spent all day!

Having a planned deviation today while taking my mom out to eat... I need to think of it as not a complete binge where I feel sick (I know...), but I am going to allow myself to indulge a little bit. Maybe it will trick my body a little bit with the carb thing, who knows....

I weighed in this morning at 200.2, after I drank a cup of coffee (which has to weigh about eight ounces, right??) That is a loss of half a pound and I'm happy about that. I'm counting it as about a pound lost, which is awesome, I think.

I like the way my life is going. I'm in a size Large women's shirt, soon to be a Medium and my jeans actually fit. It's not like I'm pouring into a size 12 Tall; they really fit. The difference between long and tall is the talls have a 36'' inseam; long is usually 34'''. Sometimes, when I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I hardly even recognize myself, in a good way. I think the mirror plays tricks on us because when I was really morbidly obese, I would look at myself as thinner than I was, almost as a coping mechanism. I would try on a slew of clothes, trying to find something that made me look less fat than I was. If I looked good in something, it was "flattering" on me. I really have come to hate that word... flattering. It's like saying, you are not good enough how you are, but boy does that outfit do wonders for the imagination! I used to love it when my mom told me something was flattering on me, but now I just cringe. Now, I choose clothes that are more form-fitted because I'm proud of my body and my shape. Yeah, I said it and I don't care if it sounds conceited... I don't have the world's best body image, but I've worked hard for what I do have and I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming.

Went to Walmart last night with my girlfriend and we had fun choosing some Christmas gifts. I got myself an earring tree that is sooo cute. I make jewelry, so it's not completely frivolous, plus it's a seasonal item I think, so it was a good buy. It looks pewter, but I"m sure it's a cheaper, painted metal, but it's pretty adorable. If you wear earrings, you know that finding the mate is half the battle... Kind of like in life!

We got fresh and frozen cauliflower, which will be great for mashed cauliflower and rice risotto. I don't think she has ever had my risotto, so she is in for a real treat. I think it will pair nicely with the Tilapia Parmesan. I have found that for "ricing" cauliflower, grating it raw is much easier than grating frozen, overly wet stuff.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Thoughts on my 400th entry and osteotomy update

This is my 400th blog entry! While I will not say that low carbing is a piece of cake, it's certainly become a way of life for me. Lots of people think that eating low carb means no fruits or veggies, and that is just not the case. I eat many more vegetables and whole foods than I ever ate when I was on the Standard American Diet rat wheel.

Eating low carb starts off very rocky, just like quitting anything does, then it becomes easier and easier over time. During induction (the first two weeks of eating 20 carbs or less per day), your body is actually just beginning to tap into the stored fat to use in fat burning mode, so of course your body can be quite cranky and really just not wanting to use up the stored fat. In leaner times, it was great to have a fat storage, but in modern times, not so much. We were built to survive, so it's no wonder why our bodies can be reluctant to use our "energy savings" so to speak. Eating low carb actually forces your body to burn the stored carbohydrates (read: fat).

Years ago, I never really gave much thought to what I was eating, but I "knew" one thing... Eating fat was "bad." I thought of deviled eggs and bacon as "naughty" because of their high fat content. I was extremely disillusioned! I would eat a bowl of white rice with "I can't believe it's not butter" and think I was doing wonders for my body, eating low fat. That was obviously wreaking havoc on my blood sugar and causing serious spikes, which lead to my insulin resistance and pre-diabetes, no doubt.

I will tell anybody who asks how I've lost my weight, because I have lost quite a substantial amount (over a hundred pounds). I just answer, "low carb." Do other people notice the looks of disapproval when you come out of the low carb closet? Even though I think most people would benefit from a low carb regimen, I am careful not to try to put other people on a diet or anything like that. When people are addicted to carbohydrates, they may not even realize it, but the thought of them giving up their morning bagel or toast or pasta or whatever actually causes them great distress and it must be our own decision.

Years ago, I scoffed at the Atkins diet, thinking it just was extremely unhealthy for your heart and actually speaking out against it when I heard of people even trying it, but I think I was just secretly afraid somebody was trying to steal my toast. I was painfully addicted to highly processed carbohydrates and my order at any restaurant was based on how I could fit in the most carbs versus what I actually enjoyed eating.

I told my dad to just try eating eggs for breakfast because I think it's all about small changes and constantly moving in the right direction.

I'm definitely still learning, but I've lost about 80% of my excess weight, but that does not mean that I only have 20% to go and I'm done. For one, if I quit eating low carb now, the weight will surely come back quickly. Secondly, the closer I get to goal, the slower it is coming off. At first, I would lose a pound a day of weight, which was quite motivating. Now, even if I'm on plan, I'm happy to see a pound of weight loss on the scale in a week. I'm about 25 pounds away from getting to a normal weight and I'm very excited.

In terms of my knee, I was looking at my legs in the mirror yesterday and they look straight! I'm so excited about this. I truly thought that my left leg was screwed for life, to be honest. Even at the young age of seven years old, my legs were very knock-kneed, which lead to the growth portion surgery (staples in the inner bones of my knees) that I had at ages 12 and 13, respectively. My right knee was a success, but my left knee over-corrected itself and what was once a knock knee quickly became bow-legged. My orthopedic pediatric surgeon never dreamed I would grow to be 5'10'' and so he was just in hurry to operate because he feared I was done growing. He really should have done a simple x-ray of my wrist to see how far my growth portion had to grow and estimate my height that way, but that is water under the bridge. My point is, I've never remembered having straight legs until now and while one is still 3/8'' shorter, I'm in a lot less pain than I was in pre-surgery when the angle on my knee was just completely off, which my doctor called a malunion in my knee.

Life is good and I'm continually moving in the right direction!

Low carb menu:

- Pork rinds with pork bbq
- Unpotato salad
- Mashed cauliflower with Dottie's cream of mushroom soup as a gravy
- Tuna patty sandwich cheese, deluxe on an oopsie roll
- Quarter pound cheeseburger patty with onions, tomato, lettuce and low carb ketchup
- Four pieces of one-carb peanut butter fudge

Monday, December 5, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties and a low carb waffle
- Unpotato salad with two tuna patties with low carb ketchup
- Peanut butter fudge
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with all the fixins
- Pork bbq with bbq pork rinds

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Low carb menu

- Pork chop, breaded with Parmesan cheese with low carb ketchup
- Another pork chop
- Deviled eggs
- Half pound burger on an oopsie roll with onions, lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayo and of course low carb ketchup

Yesterday was my eight month anniversary with Angie. She is the most amazing person that I could ever dream of finding! We watched a movie on Starz because it got too late to go to the video store, plus she has to work early this morning. I made her a cute little hand stitched embroidery and it's just lovely. It's quirky and cute and says "love birds" on it with two birds and is heart-shaped with little embroidered daisies on it, too.

My mom is coming over on Wednesday to go to lunch with us and also to see our Christmas tree. She is going to bring over an angel as a tree topper and I can't wait. We are using her old tree, which is super nice for being a fake one. I feel honored that she chose me to give it to. I can write this because none of my brothers read my blog, lol. I have mentioned it on the wayside to them here or there that I write down what I eat, but they are not even close to the Internet junkie that I am. They check their email maybe once a day whereas my email is on auto-check so I never miss a beat.

We create our own existence in this world, largely if not completely. That is one of the first things that drew me to Angie - her belief system and how accountable she seemed (and is) for beckoning people into our lives and basically creating our own destiny and reality. We always joke that that is the good news and the bad news!

It's raining like mad, which would usually be snow this time of year which would usually cause my arthritis to be really horrible, but it's shockingly not bad. My knee surgery literally removed some of my damaged bone (I think), but the way my surgeon tells it, he just did some carpentry tricks with my bone. Think of if you had a table with a bad leg... He removed a wedge of bone from my own hip and put it in my femur, which changed the whole angle of my knee. When he saw me walk with my pantleg up, he said that he really couldn't be happier. This guy does over three hundred reconstructive joint surgeries per year and is simply amazing. He actually received the Patient's Choice Award for 2010 and he is definitely at hero-status in my life. Angie gets mad when I tell her she is my hero, but she really is too. She has been sick with a stomach flu, but I packed her a cute little lunch and I hope she can eat it and gets better soon. She really can't miss work, but I wish she would stay home and get better....

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Low carb menu

- Unpotato salad
- Pork chop, breaded with egg and parmesan cheese
- Sausage patty
- Half pound burger with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup on an oopsie roll
- Deviled eggs
- Low carb peanut butter fudge
- Unpotato salad

We've all been there, I think. The point where somebody finds your blog who you really REALLY don't want to and then you just feel so... vulnerable. I thought about turning it to private, but I like all the feedback that I get from you all and all... plus I feel like I'm putting the low carb word "out there" so to speak.

What have you guys done when people who you would never show you blog to in a zillion years have found you? Thoughts?

Friday, December 2, 2011

Low carb menu, knee surgery update and good news for mom

- Two sausage patties
- A waffle with sugar free syrup

Good news on my mom's mammogram. She is cancer free still! She had it surgically removed, then did 16 weeks of chemo, had a month off and is going to start 6 weeks of radiation soon. I am so relieved that she is cancer free, but I could choke her for still smoking. Quitting smoking is scary, though and I should know because I've done it. I think sometimes, the unknown is scarier than the actual fall. For me, quitting was like walking off the edge of a cliff and expecting the net to be there. No amount of preaching or begging can get somebody to quit, though... It's really a decision that must be made from the gut and made on one's own.

My surgeon says that I'm healing as good as can be expected. The space in the bone looks very filled in. I'm still on the walker, but I will be up on a cane soon. You hold the cane on the opposite side of the bad leg, which still kind of baffles me, but he is the expert.

He tells me I'm his hero because I still am off the smoking, plus due to my 105 pound weight loss I guess. I say he is my hero because he really changed my life with making my leg all better. The not getting around properly can really mess with a person and I'm in a ton of pain still. He says he wants me to be off the pain pills in a month or two, which sound reasonable but also scary. I'm going to call the nurse and see if I can be back on my anti-inflammatory, which really helps the pain.

I don't go back to my surgeon until February 15th. I'm doing hip-to-toe xrays before I go back to see him and he will make a decision then as to if I need my other surgery or not. It would be an open wedge high tibial osteotomy, which would help with the arthritis and would also cause my legs to be closer to the same length. Part of me is SO RELIEVED that I may not need the second surgery as this one was quite a doozie... Sawing my bone in half, having a wedge of bone cut from my hip bone (ouch) and then having a plate with screws drilled right into my femur.

My left leg started out very bow legged and is now close to the right angle. It started off as a one-inch leg length discrepancy and is now only 3/8 of an inch shorter, so that is a plus. I need to get a hold of the custom shoe place and see what they can do about that. I'm sure there is a lift I need to make everything stay more lined up than it has been.

I kind of feel like he is just letting me go swim on my own and I don't know how to swim. (I really do, but you can get the metaphor). I guess life is like that a lot... You don't realize you can do it on your own until you do. I tried to take a step with the cane in his office and he said that I just might not be ready yet.

I'm also disappointed because I stayed on plan for ALL of November but lost zero pounds. I'm so mad about it that I could spit. I guess I did gain muscle in my left leg, which was so skinny after I took off the immobilizer, but I feel like that is making an excuse. My leg beefed up with muscle and I didn't actually gain any weight, so in a way, part of it is fat loss. My girlfriend is always so encouraging and she reminds me that I've done so great and am still doing awesome, reminds me that I'm into a size 12 jeans so just look how far I've come, but I can't help kicking myself in the ass for this last 25 pounds being so hard to lose.

I guess when so much of my self worth comes from dropping the pounds, having a while of maintaining can mess with me. If I'm good enough when I lose weight, when I don't lose weight, I'm not good enough.... sort of deal. I guess I did gain a couple pounds from my lowest recorded weight of 198.4 and now I'm at about 200.8.

It was Halloween then Thanksgiving and I stayed 100% on plan, but I feel like that is just more of an excuse than the actual truth. I know eating low carb works, so am I just purposely sabotaging myself or what?

I do know one thing... The only way to move on with any semblance of sanity is to know that we are okay, today, just the way we are. I don't think anybody really feels good enough ever so maybe I'm not alone in this. Weight is just such a measurable thing and we have to nurture ourselves daily, so it's no wonder to me that so many of us struggle with our weight.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Low carb menu

- Turkey/mushroom/broccoli/cauliflower cheesy casserole
- A hot dog with mustard and low carb ketchup
- Meatballs with marinara sauce on half an oopsie roll with cheese
- Spaghetti squash with a few mushrooms and Parmesan cheese
- Pumpkin bake

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Low carb menu and weigh in

- Cheesy turkey, mushroom, broccoli, cauliflower casserole topped with bacon
- Low carb brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- Dottie's green bean casserole
- Three hot dogs with cheese and onions on an oopsie roll with mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Cheesy turkey, mushroom, broccoli, cauliflower casserole with bacon on top

I weighed in at 200.8 this morning. Must have been all of the brownies I've been eating and I'm sure the Absolut vodka on Thanksgiving did not help, either. Plus, I've been eating extra food just because it was Thanksgiving week, which really makes no sense, but is somehow justified in my own mind. I'm ready to get back under 200 and to my goal weight of 175, darnit!

I go to the surgeon today and we will see what he says. I'm sure x-rays will be involved along with getting some good, low carb groceries.

Keep on keeping on, ya'll... That is my motto!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two pieces of meatloaf with green bean casserole
- Two more pieces of meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- Turkey/broccoli/mushroom cheesy casserole with bacon on top
- Chef salad with ham, cheese, hard boiled egg, cucumbers and ranch

Monday, November 28, 2011

Low carb menu and taking back my power

- Turkey with Dottie's green bean casserole
- Deviled eggs
- 3.5 hot dogs on an oopsie roll with cheese, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Drumstick treat
- Turkey
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting and sugar free chocolate chips on top

I went to my dad's house last night for Thanksgiving dinner, but we were later than everybody because it was my girlfriend's first day as an assistant manager. I'm so proud of her. She has only worked there for about thirteen weeks and she is already moving up the ladder. I'm not shocked because she works her butt off plus she is just a natural teacher and motivator. She is going to make the best assistant manager ever. I think that they say that the true mark of a man is how they treat the people below them.

To get on with it, I decided on the way there that I wasn't really in the mood to deviate from plan just for some food that had probably been sitting around, so I just had some turkey. I will save my planned deviation for our eight month anniversary when we are going out for the latest twilight movie. We brought along some low carb brownies and we even left them in the car. Don't judge me, lol. I took cock doggies as my passing dish. Last year, when I took a seven layer salad, I got called out by my stepmom's mom as to why didn't I bring the cock doggies too.

My little brother says the same thing when I see him every time, "Where are the cock doggies?" They are little cocktail sausages wrapped in 1/4 of a small butter milk biscuit. While they are not exactly low carb, they have less than three carbs each, which kind of shocked me when I calculated it out. I skipped them, which was kind of shocking, considering that I made a triple batch of them.

Today's plans are going to be fun. My girlfriend has the day off and she is hopefully going to whip up some of her famous low carb waffles, which I enjoy more than her low carb pancakes only because they don't contain any cheese and the pancakes contain both cream cheese and cottage cheese. We also have plans to decorate our Christmas tree together which is SO exciting because it's our first Christmas. Then, we are going to watch the Twilight movie and I want to help her get going at designing her first website for pet sitting and canine rehabilitation.

Last night, when my dad saw me, he said the cutest thing, "Wow, you look just like you looked when you were a little girl." I was the cutest little girl, too, before I started putting on weight. If you look at photos of me when I was four then when I was seven years old, I literally look like two different kids. I was molested during my kindergarten physical and then I just started packing on the pounds. Everybody blamed the divorce for me gaining weight, which I'm sure was part of it also, but not nearly as much as my pedophile doctor molesting me. I think of me losing weight as me taking back my power. I have known many people who have found it scary and unsafe to be attractive, so we put on a fat suit to guard us from being hurt, but really, it's no way to live and it will only put us in an early grave.

After my parents divorced, my dad would take us kids out and feeding us was pretty much the only thing that he knew how to do with us. He had good intentions, but it was not the healthiest thing in the world. One day, we ate so much that my brother did not even want McDonald's when my dad took us there after several other places. I ate a value meal and came home and puked up my shamrock shake. I knew it was because I ate so much that my little tummy just couldn't handle it. That is so disgusting now that I think of it... and sad.

Me taking back my health is no longer giving the power to the gross pedophile of a doctor who took advantage of me at the age of four. He no longer rules my body - I do.

It has taken me decades to realize this, because I would always say the same thing about the molestation, "At least it only happened once. Some people get molested for years and years and so mine really didn't effect me and I'm one of the lucky ones." LUCKY? No four year old is lucky for having been sexualized at such a young age and the shame that comes from that it just horrible.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Low carb menu

- Deviled eggs
- Meatloaf with deluxe american cheese and low carb ketchup with mashed cauliflower and gravy
- Two low carb brownies with home made low carb chocolate frosting
- Tossed salad with ham, cheese, cucumbers and hard boiled egg
- Meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- 1.5 hot dogs with low carb ketchup and mustard

Size 12 jeans

I ordered some 12 tall jeans from Old Navy and they freaking FIT me! I've gone from a size 26/28 to a size 12... I can't believe my jeans!

Before my knee surgery thirteen weeks ago, I was in a size 16, but now they are way too big, so I ordered a size 12, thinking I would need to lose some weight to get into them... I didn't want to order size 14 because I don't want to just need the next size so soon.... So I took a leap of faith and ordered some 12s and they fit me!


Low carb menu

- Turkey with gravy
- Deviled eggs
- Drumstick treat
- Two sausages with two low carb pancakes with sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
- Deviled eggs
- Turkey

Friday, November 25, 2011

Low carb menu for Thanksgiving

- Half of a breadstick muffin with marinara sauce
- Low carb biscuits
- Gluten free brownie with chocolate frosting
- Chicken/sausage/mushroom casserole
- Turkey with gravy
- Mashed cauliflower with gravy
- Dottie's green bean casserole
- Drumstick treat

Wednesday's low carb menu

- Unpotato salad
- Meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- Breadstick muffin
- Tossed salad with ranch dressing

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two scrambled eggs with two sausage patties
- Tossed salad with ranch
- Two pieces of meatloaf with an oopsie roll with cheese, onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Tossed salad with ranch
- A piece of meatloaf with a breadstick with marinara sauce

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Low carb menu

- Three scrambled eggs with ham
- Unpotato salad
- Pork bbq with pork rinds
- Tossed salad with cucumbers, celery, hard boiled egg, cheese, tomato and bacon bits with ranch
- Meatloaf on half an oopsie roll with tomato, lettuce and mayo

Monday, November 21, 2011

Low carb menu

- Chicken stir-fry with chicken, yellow squash, onions, cabbage and broccoli with korean marinade
- Pizza hut breadstick muffin with marinara sauce
- BBQ pork rinds
- Open face pork bbq on an oopsie roll with deluxe American cheese and diced onions
- Unpotato salad

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Low carb menu

- Pork bbq with a piece of deluxe American cheese
- Pork bbq with pork rinds
- Low carb brownie with low carb choc frosting
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie roll with onions, tomato, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Low carb menu

- Pork bbq with home made bbq sauce
- Two chicken legs
- Sausage patty with three low carb pancakes
- Unpotato salad
- Breadstick muffin made with coconut flour and natural marinara sauce

Friday, November 18, 2011

Low carb menu

- Three scrambled eggs with ham
- Just like velveeta rotel main dish
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream
- Low carb brownie with low carb chocolate frosting
- A rotisserie chicken leg and wing

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Low carb menu

- Just like Velveeta Rotel main dish
- Two low carb brownies with low carb chocolate frosting
- One and a half pizza hut muffins with natural marinara sauce
- Taco bake with natural salsa and sour cream

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Low carb menu and local sourcing

- Three scrambled eggs with ham
- Half pound cheese burger patty with onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Low carb brownie with low carb frosting
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream

You know your eggs are free range when you drive up and the chickens scurry around! The Amish family that we get our eggs from are SO sweet and they seem to pop out another kid each year. They are just so appreciative of our business and we can feel good about getting our eggs from a good source. Plus, they are cheap and they just taste better.

We need to get some good, grass fed beef next.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Low carb menu

- Just like velveeta main dish
- Low carb brownie with low carb peanut butter frosting
- Half pound burger patty with onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Ring bologna slices with swiss and cheddar chunks
- Low carb meatloaf with cheesy broccoli and cauliflower

My girlfriend and I went to the chiropractor yesterday and Daisy (the English setter) got her stitches removed from her hind leg. She had a suspicious-looking mass removed last week and the vet said that if it were him, he would not even bother to send it to the lab because it looked fine. He is a very well-respected vet, so I listened to his advice. He really is just so reasonably priced and also very good with animals. Some people drive up to three hours each way just to see him and I travel about three hours round-trip to see him because he is that good.

My mom lives nearby the vet, so she made us dinner while Angie finished plasticing her windows. I was so appreciative that she took the time to make us low carb fare. I don't expect people to cater to my lifestyle, as it's my lifestyle choice and not theirs, but it was sooo good and much appreciated. She even says that she has been low carbing, too! We took her over some zucchini lasagna and low carb brownies last week that she has been enjoying.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Low carb menu

- Half pound cheese burger patty with onions and tomato
- Taco bake with salsa and sour cream
- Two sausage patties with a low carb waffle and sugar free syrup
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound cheese burger on an oopsie roll with onions, tomato, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup

I made the taco bake with two pounds of ground beef instead of just one. I also doubled the amount of taco seasoning that it called for. It's a winner for sure!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties
- Quarter pound hamburger patty with two hot dogs and a tomato slice
- Half pound burger on an oopsie with tomato and onion
- Unpotato salad
- A few bites of natural peanut butter

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Low carb menu

- Half pound hamburger on an oopsie with unpotato salad
- Low carb brownie with pb frosting
- Cheesy squash with two hot dogs with onions, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Cucumbers with ranch dressing
- Unpotato salad
- Brownie with pb frosting

Friday, November 11, 2011

Low carb menu and not eating my feelings

- Waffle with one sausage patty with sugar free syrup
- Unpotato salad
- Half pound burger on an oopsie roll with tomato, onion, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup
- Cheesy spaghetti squash casserole
- Brownie with low carb frosting

When I used to be upset, pissed off, mad at the world, feeling sorry for myself, whatever... I would medicate myself with food. Food is not a very suitable medication for me... So last night, when I wanted to binge, I got out my journal and wrote, wrote, wrote until I felt like all of my feelings were on paper. It felt good to give a voice to the feelings, if nothing else. It felt good to honor how I felt and take care of myself a little bit, by giving my feelings a place to go instead of just stuffing them down. Over-indulging when I really just feel sad never really helps anyway until I just want to eat more, more more and just end up fall asleep anyway. I ended up going to bed early anyway and I'm sure it took me longer to get to sleep than it would have if I binged, but I laid there with my feelings and just felt them until sleep finally carried me away. I think exercising, cleaning and the like would also be a good way of distracting myself from my feelings, but it was nice to give them a voice for once.

I had a dream that I binged last night. It was a pretty horrible dream. I was eating some kind of junk food and I was like a pig in shit, just loving it way too much. It was very odd and I hated the way I felt after binging in the dream.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Easy low carb peanut butter frosting

Easiest, Yummiest Frosting EVER!

- 4 tablespoons natural peanut butter
- 8 tablespoons heavy whipping cream
- 8 teaspoons splenda
- 1 tablespoon sugar free maple syrup (like an over the counter pancake syrup)

So, I actually got the idea from this recipe from Linda Sue's magic peanut butter pudding recipe, so I must give the low carb genius Linda credit here.

I whipped up this recipe because I was in need of a sweet frosting for my coconut flour brownies. I wanted to frost them because my girlfriend does not like nuts, so I left them out. Where I'm from, brownies require either nuts or a good frosting, so the latter was in order.

Now, I'm not lying when I tell you that this is the most satisfying, fudgiest dessert that I have ever indulged in in all of my twenty-nine years on this planet. The best news? It's freaking LOW CARB. This was the first recipe that I have ever made using coconut flour and I'm still in low carb bliss. You can pick up these babies with your hands, but they are really best when you use a fork. The only problem that I foresee? No dessert will EVER be as good as this one. It's kind of like when you have had the best pizza in the world... No pizza will ever stand up to it, so it kind of makes all other pizza less-than-spectacular in your own mind.

Low carb menu

- Chicken sausage mushroom casserole
- More casserole
- Waffle with sugar free syrup
- More casserole
- Unpotato salad

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Feelings on losing over 100 pounds

I weighed in this morning at 198.4! A new all-time low for me and back in one-derland! Wahooo.... I really thought that the low carb peanut butter cookies may have messed me up some, but it turns out that it's all about eating the right kind of treats for me. Next time, I may up the amount of liquid splenda in the cookies because they could have been sweeter if you ask me. I froze some of the cookies for a special low carb Thanksgiving treat this year called Drumstick Treat. With liquid splenda, that is only five carbs per serving! Liquid splenda is on sale if you purchase the bigger bottles of it, which makes it very affordable, in terms of cost and the carb count (zero!)... We are doing Thanksgiving day here at my house, low carb style, but we will be indulging in plenty of yummy low carb goodness. Both me and the girlfriend have a sweet~tooth, so we always have lots of sweets around the house. Low-carb-style, of course!

My dad has a get-together post-Thanksgiving where all of us seven kids get together, so I'm having a planned deviation on that day. My goal is to eat a reasonable amount of food where I'm not going to have to nap or feel sick afterward. I'm going to see the whole spread and really pick and choose what I want, because last time I binged at the Chinese buffet, it really made me nauseous, sick and worthless. Those feelings make me not even want to go off~plan too much, which is actually a good thing.

I made a pan of brownies that need to stay in the fridge overnight, which will be hard to resist. I licked the beaters (and the bowl - don't judge me!) and the batter tastes like better-than-boxed mix! My sweetie is not much of a nut person, so I omitted them. I'm going to whip up either a chocolate frosting or a peanut butter frosting to go with them - the girlfriend's choice.

I'm in the throes of making some zucchini lasagna. I do think about food a lot, which I wonder if that will ever change. Obviously, nobody gets to over 300 lbs like I did without being obsessed with it... The only difference is that now, I feel like I have some control over it. Before, I literally felt like I had no choice but to eat copious amounts of food. I'm not sure what has changed, but I really give credit to cutting out foods that are too easy for me to binge on... (like pasta, bread, the like). For example, I never just made one sandwich. It was always two. Then I'd graze back into the kitchen to nosh on more crap, almost without even wanting to. Now, I never go back for seconds. I think it's because I'm getting enough nutrients in the foods that I eat (along with supplements) that my body is not always yelling, "feed me!"

I insist on having several low-carb options in the fridge, but it's more because when I'm hungry, I'm hungry and I don't want to necessarily have to wait a half an hour or an hour preparing the food before I'm able to eat. This has really helped me to stay on-plan. Plus, we never have non-low-carb food even in the house, which has been such a good decision. The other day, my girlfriend noticed that I had something Hershey's in the cart and she immediately questioned me about it. She got off my back once she noticed that they were sugar free.

Oct says that she doesn't think about food except on free day and I wonder if I will ever get to that point.

I also find myself cooking a lot because I feel like it's one of the few things that I can do around the house, being in a wheelchair. Every time I mention me being in a wheelchair, I feel like I need to remind everybody (myself mostly) that it's temporary. I really feel for the people who can't get out of their wheelchairs. That has been one thing that I really can empathize with people on. My highschool's health class made every student go around in a wheelchair for one day to see what it was like to be stuck in one and of course, everybody hated it, but I think it was a good exercise in empathy. Plus, I cook a lot because Angie (yes me and my gf have the same name) is always so appreciative of it and I've always loved to cook for friends and family.

Even when I have awesome-tasting food that is in the fridge and ready-to-nuke, I just don't go for it because I wait until I'm hungry. I don't always do this, but I'd say that 90% of the time, I'm successful with waiting for my body to tell me it's time to eat, versus a clock or me just wanting to eat. Even last night, I was in my office, doing some work on the computer, when my super-amazing gf came in with a freshly made waffle, just for me. I begged her to take it out, not because I didn't want it hot and fresh, but because I just wasn't hungry yet. I had just eaten two sausage patties within that hour, so my body was not even asking for food yet. There once was a point where I NEVER felt hunger pangs and I only quit eating when I was so full that it was painful. This is disgusting to me.

I also still find myself making fat jokes about myself, even though I'm only twenty-three pounds from goal. 23 more pounds and I will not even be in the "overweight" category according to those weight charts. I think I have always beat others to the punch with a fat joke and I really do identify with being big, even though I'm getting smaller all the time.

What about you all? Can you relate to any of this?

Low carb menu

- Chicken sausage mushroom casserole
- More chicken sausage mushroom casserole (omg this is so good)
- Two sausage patties with sugar free syrup
- Two peanut butter cookies
- Half a waffle with sugar free syrup

This casserole is amazing. My girlfriend and I agree that it's freaking amazing. She loves sausage and mushrooms, so it's no shock that we both love it. It really does taste like stuffing. Instead of only adding one stalk of celery, I added three stalks.

She made waffles after she worked all day (and even did the dishes - how lucky am I???) and they are too good. I can't believe that waffles come out of the ingredients she uses. Low carb cooking never ceases to amaze me - that is for sure.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausages with 3/4 of a waffle with sugar free syrup
- Pork bbq on an oopsie roll
- Small piece of tri-tip
- Ham, broccoli, cauliflower cheesy casserole
- Two peanut butter cookies
- A piece of zucchini pizza
- Two deviled eggs

Monday, November 7, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two pieces of zucchini pizza
- Unpotato salad
- A tablespoon of natural peanut butter
- Five small peanut butter cookies
- Three deviled eggs
- Three hot dogs on an oopsie roll with onions, mustard and mayo

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties with a waffle with sugar free syrup
- Unpotato salad
- Half a chicken breast with half an oopsie with honey mustard and a tomato slice
- Carbquik cheddar bay biscuit
- Chicken breast with honey mustard
- Pork rinds dipped in french onion dip

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties
- Unpotato salad
- 1.5 waffles with sugar free syrup
- Chicken sandwich with mayo, tomato and honey mustard on an oopsie roll with unpotato salad
- A few bbq pork rinds

These waffles are SO good! They remind me a bit of John Kerry, but they are sooo good! My gf can COOK!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Does obesity cause genu valgum [knock knees]?

The doctor's appointment went well! I'm now walking around... kind of. I'm not officially weight bearing YET, but he did say to start putting some pressure on it, but keep the majority of my weight on my walker when I step. He said to put about sixty pounds of pressure on my knee when I walk, which is kind of hard to gauge because I'm around 200 pounds now, but I'm just putting a little bit of pressure on there and so far, no pain! I'm like a little kid, excited to be walking around for the first time in ten weeks! It's nothing short of a miracle, what my surgeon was able to do for me. My open wedge osteotomy has really changed my life.

In the past, I always had this idea that my knock knees were due to me being a really overweight child. I have even wrote on this blog that my obesity caused this, and it really didn't. My girlfriend and I were disagreeing about this very thing. She said it was genetic, but I just knew that it had to do with my being so heavy. Now, I had seen heavier people than me NOT have it, but I just figured that I was so fat from such a young age that it was almost like my poor legs could not support my weight... almost like a prison that I did the crime for. Also, my knock knee correction surgeon from before actually made my knee more deformed, so I was petrified of surgery in the first place.

To get on with it, I asked my surgeon if it was due to my weight and he said a flat out, "completely unrelated." He is a straight shooter, so I know he would have been honest with me if it did cause knock knees. On wikipedia, it says that obesity DOES cause it, but I think that my surgeon who has been doing these surgeries for twenty years is a more reliable source than wiki.

So, why the heck does this matter anyway? Well, I lived with a deformity in my left knee for 17 long years (from the time I was 12 to 29 now), and I kind of felt like I deserved it for doing so much eating.... like it was some sort of weird self-inflicted punishment. Turns out, it's congenital, which means that it is something that I was born with... but the good news is that it can be corrected and I don't deserve a life of pain, after all.

It's my hope that others will find this entry if they, too, wonder if they caused their own form of knock knees... In two words, heck no!

Low carb menu:
- Two sausage patties and two eggs, fried in butter
- Two pieces of zucchini pizza with sausage, ham, pepperoni, mushrooms, peppers, mozzarella and marinara sauce with unpotato salad
- Ham and cheesy casserole with green onions, broccoli and cauliflower
- Half of a chicken breast, breaded in parm and dipped in low carb honey mustard with half an oopsie roll and two small tomato slices
- Carbquik cheddar bay biscuit

I made the last three items on the list as a special seven-month anniversary with me and my girlfriend. I don't ever remember being happier. I do have to take responsibility for my own happiness, but it helps having an amazing person to live your life with, if you ask me. The cheddar bay biscuits are amazing! They do include Carbquik, which is a carbalose flour, so I do not want to make them part of my daily or even weekly plan, but every once in a while, on a special occasion, they are certainly a welcomed treat. They really do taste like the biscuits from Red Lobster, so if you like those, you are going to LOVE these. I got eleven big biscuits out of the batch.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Low carb menu

- Zucchini pizza with all the fixins
- Four deviled eggs
- Two jerky sticks
- Two pieces of zucchini pizza with unpotato salad
- Two sausages with a low carb waffle with sugar free syrup

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Low carb menu, doctor's appointment, weigh-in

- Sloppy joe meat with pork rinds
- Two slices of pumpkin bake
- Unpotato salad

Nancy's un~potato salad is seriously so amazing. I'm very picky about my deli salads and I usually do not like any kind of store-bought mac or potato salad. They just taste so unappealing. Nancy's recipe is a winner from the first bite! I especially love that it calls for green onions instead of regular ones because my girlfriend can't really get into raw onions and green ones are much more mild. I didn't realize what a big difference the green onions made in the recipe until I made it yesterday without them. We needed coffee anyway, so good thing that she was willing to go to the store last night after her behavior counseling session for her boss' new puppy. She went to work, donated plasma, helped me with my work, went to the dog training session (which she did pro-bono) then went to the store, came home and took short nap then took us all out for a pack walk (the two dogs and me)... all while being sick! I hope that she can rest up today because she does have the day off due to my appointment with the surgeon. I really can't wait until I can start contributing more with the care of the dogs and the housework. She doesn't complain about it, but I know it's a lot for her to have to do.

I'm going to see my surgeon today and get some x-rays. We are going to see if there is enough new bone growth for me to start bearing weight on it. I sure hope there is! I'm ten weeks post-op and while I still am in some pain, I feel much better than I felt before.

My appointment is at 11:45am today so I will be sure to let you know how I fare!

My weigh in was 200.6 today, which is okay, I guess. I still have about 25 more pounds to get to "normal weight," plus with my huge binge at the Chinese buffet, it's really no surprise. I did weigh in at 200 last week too, which kind of makes me mad because it was fun to be in onederland while it lasted, but it's like one freaking pound that I'm talking about and I need to focus on the fact that I lost 105 pounds so far, which is awesome.

I also need to focus more on working out. Being in a wheelchair is no excuse! I've always thought that if you are looking for an excuse, you will find one... Actually, you will find way more than one. Our brains love to be happy and we look for the most-pleasurable things most times. I need to start doing my ten pound weight arm exercises like I was doing for a while. I feel strong when I work out and I need to I'm going to get back in the groove of doing that.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Low carb menu

- Pumpkin bake
- Sloppy joe meat with pork rinds
- Sausage crumbles that were too burnt for the pizza
- A piece of zucchini pizza with sausage, ham, pepperoni, mushrooms with red and green peppers with cheese and natural marinara sauce

Monday, October 31, 2011

Low carb menu and a special birthday wish

Low carb menu
- Two pieces of pumpkin bake
- Two pieces of chicken breast, pan fried and battered with pork rinds, dipped in low carb honey mustard
- Six jalapeno poppers
- Sloppy joe meat with pork rinds

Happy birthday to Oct!

Be sure to bump over to Octracia's blog and wish her a beary Happy Birthday! She is smart, funny, hard-working, adorable, friendly and a low carber and today is her birthday!! What more could you possibly ask for?

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Low carb menu and my supportive love

- Zucchini lasagna
- Half of a piece of a jerky stick from grocery store checklane
- Pork rinds with ranch dip
- One and a half pieces of zucchini lasagna with Parmesan cheese

Nancy, I use this low carb lasagna recipe only I take Linda's suggestion and add an extra can of tomato sauce. Furthermore, I use half ground beef and half sausage. It's really REALLY good and you are going to love it if you feed it to the family! I noticed that Harry over at Healthy Fellow also put up a yummy-looking lasagna recipe, so be sure to check that out.

Waffle makers were on sale at Aldi last week, so we got one yesterday! I'm excited about it. At first, my gf was skeptical about whether we needed one or not, but once she heard about there being LOW CARB WAFFLES available, she was all about it! She is really SO supportive about my eating needs and it had made all the difference. I have written on here before about having a non-supportive ex who was constantly bringing junk in the house, and while that IS the real world, it really does help to be living with somebody who is on the same page as me and cares about my health journey.

Saturday, October 29, 2011


- Zucchini lasagna
- Piece of chicken breast, breaded with pork rinds dipped in low carb honey mustard
- Chinese buffet

We took my mom out for dinner at the Chinese buffet and I decided to have a deviation. The cause for celebration is her being done with chemo! Radiation starts soon. I ate way too much. I felt like crap. I still feel kind of like I have a hangover from all the nasty food I ingested. It made me think, "Wow, I used to eat like this all the time... No wonder I never had any energy."

Dear body,
We are back to low carb foods til Thanksgiving... don't worry!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Low carb menu and surgery update

- Low carb zucchini lasagna
- Four jalapeno poppers
- Chicken breast, pan fried and battered pork rinds with home made honey mustard

My gf has been taking me across the street at nights to wheel around in my wheelchair in the big community college parking lot. It's huge, has tons of emergency phones and with me wheeling myself around the whole time, it's quite a workout. I was shocked last night at how much of a core workout it was, but we went for about thirty minutes. At the end, my endorphins were through the roof. It was actually really fun!

I'm missing the ease of working out by taking walks and such, but honestly, before surgery, I was in so much pain due to the how screwed up my knee was that I was not able to enjoy exercise as much as I will be able to.

So, I go back to the doctor on November 2nd and he is going to zap some x-rays to see where my progress is. Ideally, I will have enough new bone growth where they did the osteotomy of my femur that I will be able to start to bear weight on my leg. Keep your fingers crossed! It's been over two months since surgery, but he says that it usually takes three good months before people are able to walk around like normal. What hurts worse than my knee now is my hip, my iliac crest, where they took out a wedge of bone to put into my femur. He says that it's common for that to hurt like that.

I have another surgery coming up after I'm recouped from this one... on my lower leg bone just below my knee. It's going to be basically the same procedure, sawing out a wedge of bone and inserting new bone from my hip, so a long recovery as well. This time, though, I know more of what to expect and I'm better equipped at getting around and knowing what I can and cannot do. The first few weeks after surgery are the worst, but I will get through it and be much more able-bodied after this surgery is complete.

My doctor told me that I'm really making this surgery change my life, which is true. I've lost twenty pounds since I went under the knife plus I have quit smoking completely. They had to give me a steroid lung treatment before surgery because my lungs were so rattly that it really made me want to put down the lighter forever and I did! That was a huge wake-up call.

So, I'm still in my wheelchair for now, but look out world, not for long!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Low carb menu

- Chicken salad
- Five bacon stuffed deviled eggs
- Pumpkin bake
- Two thin chicken breast pieces, deep fried and battered in pork rinds... then baked with low carb honey mustard

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

New progress pics - down 106 pounds

Low carb menu

- Pork rinds with French onion dip
- Chicken salad
- Two hot dogs on an oopsie roll with mustard and low carb ketchup
- Six jalapeno poppers

Got up all early this morning and feeling excited about life...

Shezug, I still can't see your videos that you added on youtube... :(

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Welcome to ONEderland and low carb menu

- Chicken salad
- Deviled egg
- Hot dog sandwich with mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup on an oopsie
- Cheesecake brownie (low carb)

I weighed in this morning at 199.6! I still am kind of in shock over the whole ordeal, but I'm definitely excited.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Low carb menu and get together with the family

Saturday's low carb fare:
- Two sausage patties
- Tuna casserole with low carb bbq sauce
- A few bites of low carb chicken salad that I sampled while I made it
- Nachos made with plain pork rinds, taco meat, cheese, lettuce, sour cream and natural salsa

Sunday's low carb menu:
- Chicken salad lettuce wraps with tomato
- Assorted cheese chunks with ring bologna and a chicken wing with the breading taken off
- Deviled eggs with pot roast with onions and ketchup
- Two low carb cheesecake brownies (recipe to come)

We all got together at my mom's house to help her with the yard. She served up a huge dinner and I was proud of myself for staying low-carb. It was nice to see my brothers and it's quite rare for the four of us kids to get together (me and my three older brothers). My gf and my brother's wifey also came to help rake. I was in my walker since my knee is still non-weight-bearing and I was basically the cheerleader. Even though I can't bear weight on my knee, I can still kick my hand with that leg now, so that is something. Something tells me my surgeon would kick my butt if he saw me do this, however...

I go back to see him on the second and I'm hoping that the x-ray shows enough new bone growth to start prancing around again....

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Low carb menu

- Three tuna patties
- Meat sauce over two oopsie rolls with cheese and Parmesan cheese
- Pork rinds with French onion dip
- Pistachios
- Deep fried zucchini

Friday, October 21, 2011

Low carb menu & flipping the closet

- Meat sauce over half an oopsie with sharp cheddar and Parmesan
- Pork rinds with French onion dip
- Pork bbq with low carb bbq sauce
- Cheesecake brownie (my own low carb recipe that is super yummy and quite low carb)
- Two hot dogs with onions/tomato/mustard/low carb ketchup on an oopsie roll

We went to Goodwill the other day and we found an awesome one! We went to the one in the nicer part of town and wow, what a difference that made! I found a Wilson's leather jacket for $19.99, size women's XL and it fits great. I also found three sweaters, all size Women's Large. I think it's safe to say that I'm pretty much in that size when nearly everything fits that is a size large.

I sew, so I know that the difference between sizes such as small, medium and large are only one inch all around the pattern, where as the 1x, 2x and 3x all have two inches around the pattern that are bigger. So going from an XL to a large takes less of a difference than going from 2x to a 1x, say. This Goodwill also had a huge selection in the 3x department! I can't believe that a 3x used to be tight on me (in women's) and I was really convinved that they were made small. Oh, the tricks that our mind can play on us, I tell you! I thought they were "short," when in reality, my stomach was just too big. Granted, I am 5'10,'' but I never really require talls except for pants. I'm mostly just leggy with a 36'' inseam for my legs.

I have a slew of clothes to put up on e-bay, so it should be fun to watch the auctions. I have everything from Lane Bryant dresses that I hardly wore, a really cute bathing suit, tons of tops and I think that is about it. I've been donating the stuff that is not in super-good shape but still totally doable for Goodwill.

Goodwill is totally the way to go! Their sweaters are $5 each, but with my 20% off coupon that you get when you make a donation, that is only $4 each. I scored my leather jacket for $16 this way and it's just gorgeous. The sweaters are all name-brand and quite cute, too. Angie even found some awesome men's sweaters that are just too adorable and a Columbia coat that is super nice. I can't wait to go back to Goodwill for more deals. I hardly have anything in my closet that fits. I do have a ton of long sleeve tops (courtesy of Old Navy), but nothing really substantial to put over the tops like sweaters or sweatshirts. I'm not complaining, I love having that problem, but filling my closet with Goodwill clothes is way more budget-friendly than going to the mall or whatever. Plus, if you go to an organized one, they organize it by size and stuff, so they have a whole rack of just women's size larges for me to flip through... from my wheelchair, of course!

I'm still kind of shocked at how people treat me in the wheelchair. The other day at Walmart, this manager asked me specifically to go to another line that she was about to open and I was about the third in line. It may have been a pity thing, but hey, I will take the perks that this wheelchair can give me! The lady in front of me kind of gave me a look or was about to be upset til she saw me in the motorized cart, then I think her attitude changed. Hey, Walmart checkouts can be brutal so I will take what I can get, lol.

Back to the closet thing... I donated fifteen boxes of clothes to my local Goodwill when I first started my weight loss journey, which were size 24's, size 26/28 tops and that sort of thing. Several still had the tags on them! I was at a stage of my life where I didn't want to mess with the ebay thing... I just wanted, needed to get RID of them. Plus, a box of size 26/28 fills up quicker than a box of size XL's, so it was less clothes than you might think. I think it's an important part of losing weight... only having in your closet what fits you now. Looking through your closet is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself (at least for me) and it helps me tremendously to think about me as being smaller. Angie handed me a size 2x (18/20) top from my other closet.

She said, "This will probably be way too big for you, but here you go." The sweater was an adorable cable-knit orange that I got from Goodwill a couple years ago and I remember how cute it looked on me. Looking at the sweater on the hanger, I knew it would fit. In fact, that was the reason it was not in my to-sell pile for ebay! I tried it on and wow, she was right. My body was not stretching it out at all and it felt big and floppy on me... not even warm and cuddly like a sweater should be.

I used to just donate clothes that I thought would never fit me, but now, I donate and sell clothes that are too big for me. I think that it's much healthier to only keep clothes that fit and get rid of the others. If they are too big, it's almost like telling yourself that you will be in that size again. If they are too small (besides maybe the occasional goal piece of clothing, which works for some people but not me), then it makes me feel like I'm not good enough at my current size. Each time I see the too-small item, it kind of slaps me in the face with a "you're too big" attitude.

Keeping clothes that fit me in my closet has really changed my life. My step-mom is the worst about this. She has clothes from when she was literally sixteen years old and she is now in her forties! No joke! She also has a slew of sizes, and quite frankly, it's just a lot to move around if you ask me. I'm finally embracing that less is more as far as belongings go, but if you ask my brothers that helped me move, they would tell you a different story!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Low carb menu, stress at work and weigh-in

- Two open-face oopsies with hamburger/sausage meat sauce with sharp white cheddar cheese on top
- Pork bbq with pork rinds
- Pork rinds with French onion dip
- Half a piece of pumpkin bake

Guess what... I'm down to 200.8! Down from 306.4! I actually started this year at 280 point-something on January first, so I consider this a great success. What have I been doing? Just stringing some good low carb days together and listening to my body as to when I need to eat and knowing when I'm satisfied.

I work from home and I have a couple accounts that are amazing and a couple that are not-so-amazing and have literally been taking advantage of me by not paying me on time. I've been standing up for myself more than I would have in the past because I realize that we make our own existence in this world. I'm choosing to get more work for the companies that do treat me right by respecting my time and energy by actually paying me. When you do work online, trust is all you have with these business owners because literally, you never meet them. Oh, the wild world of being an independent contractor that works from home! Never a dull moment, I tell you...

Measurement time!

Neck - 14.5 inches (2.5 inches gone)
Bicep - 14.5 inches (5.5 inches gone)
Forearm - 9.75 inches (1.75 inches gone)
Chest - 41 inches (12 inches gone)
Waist - 39 inches (13 inches gone)
Hips - 45 inches (11 inches gone)
Thigh - 24 (4.5 inches gone)
Calf - 15.25 (2.75 inches gone)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Low carb menu

- Cheesy tuna casserole with low carb ketchup
- Two hot dogs with diced onions, mustard and low carb ketchup on an oopsie roll
- A few bites of pumpkin bake
- Pork rinds with French onion dip
- Pork bbq with half an oopsie roll
- Low carb cheesecake brownie

Low carb menu and new video

- Two hot dogs with tomato, onions, mustard and mayo on an oopsie roll
- Pumpkin bake
- Half of a grilled ham and cheddar on an oopsie with home made honey mustard
- Pork with low carb bbq sauce

Monday, October 17, 2011

Low carb menu and pictures

The pug helping Angie with her math!

Me taking some self-pics before Homecoming game.

Angie with Marvin and Daisy at the Lake Michigan dog park back in June.

- Two tuna patties
- A few bites of un-potato salad
- Rotisserie chicken leg
- Tuna casserole
- Zucchini, pan-fried and coated with egg and Parmesan cheese dipped in low carb honey mustard
- Half of a ham and cheddar sandwich, on an oopsie roll and grilled with butter with a tomato slice

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Low carb menu

- Zucchini taco with the works
- Two sausage patties with scrambled eggs
- Pumpkin bake
- Two tuna patties
- Pork rinds with french onion dip

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Low carb menu

- Zucchini taco shell, plain
- Pumpkin bake
- Two tuna patties
- Half pound burger with onions, tomato, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup on an oopsie
- Two tuna patties
- Four popcorn kernels
- Unpotato salad
- Pumpkin bake

We went to my little sister's homecoming game and we got completely drenched! We didn't stay for long because the rain was absolutely miserable and sooo cold.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties and two scrambled eggs, over-medium
- Half pound burger with onions, mustard, mayo and low carb ketchup on an oopsie roll
- Unpotato salad
- Quarter cup pistachios
- Pumpkin bake

I'm down to 204.2! Yayyy!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Low carb menu and life update

- Half pound burger on an oopsie roll with onions, tomato, mayo, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Two pork sausage patties with one low carb pancake w sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup
- Pumpkin bake
- Unpotato salad
- Two pork sausage patties with two low carb pancakes w sugar free Mrs. Butterworth's syrup

I'm the star patient!

Well, the appointment with my knee surgeon went well! He was so excited that my BMI is now below 30 (which is a different category altogether) that he even put a big star with an exclamation point right by the print-out. The receptionist said that she had never seen him do that when she was checking me out, which of course made me feel even more special. I'm always joking that I'm his star patient and now I guess that I made it official! He even joked that I almost have a better BMI than my surgeon, and I joked with him that I should give him some good recipes. He laughed.

He is really talented and sooo amazing. He received the Patient's Choice Award for 2010 and he has been doing reconstructive joint surgery for literally twenty years. I just really trust him, which is rare for me with a medical doctor. What I like about him is that he addresses the source of the problem instead of just putting a bandaid on the issue. He is really going to change my life with these two surgeries.

The new x-ray of my knee showed that the wedge of bone that they took out of my hip is bonded to the bottom of my femur, but not quite bonded to the top part of my knee. He seemed pleased with the results, but said that I was not yet ready to bear weight on my knee due to the big gap of nothingness above my knee, where we are waiting for new bone growth. Honestly, this made me feel relieved because I did not yet feel that I was ready to bear weight and now I see why. He says that the body often knows what it's ready for and boy was he right. I go back in three weeks to see if I'm ready to start dancing around yet.

My knee brace is set at 85 degrees and he was pleased when he came in to see it bent so far. It's nice to know that it's not staying stiff like it was the first few weeks when I had it in the immobilizer.

Pug News

In dog news, the pug made it through his neutering just fine! Pugs can have problems with anesthesia due to their short little muzzles, so of course his Mommy was worried about him. His sister, Daisy was so pissed when we got home without him. She was just too sad until we took the pack walk. The gf was running behind my wheelchair and I can say that my arms got a good workout. We live right across from a community college and the far part of the parking lot never has any cars at night and it's lit up well, with a police phone and all. We love to go for walks over there. It's more fun than just doing circles in front of our home.

Hopping time!

Oh, and now I can actually use my walker to get out of the house and my gf does not even have to pull around to the back slider anymore! See, the two front steps have no railing and have always freaked me out to do crutches on the steps, especially with no railing. I do the backwards-walker hop to use my one leg to hop back, which sounds scarier than it is. For me, the walker provides much more balance than crutches. I literally go from the side of the cement steps now and just clear them both at once with one big hop. It's now easier to get me loaded up because my gf can just load everything out the front door. It's also less scary that way with winter fast approaching.

Homecoming Game

My little sister is on homecoming court, so I'm excited about tomorrow night... Showing off my gf to our tiny little hick town should be interesting. I hope that my brother brings my niece and nephew because I haven't seen them in at least a couple months, which is rare for this Auntie. They are six and two and completely adorable.


Today marks the sixteen year anniversary of my mom's moped accident! She was really not supposed to live. She was hit by a car, which sent her flying in the middle of the road, at which point a van ran her over on her whole left side of her body. She had a collapsed lung, a crushed leg beyond repair and a closed head injury. They literally put her chances of survival at less than five percent. The way she tells it, she had no choice but to survive because she had three teenagers at home plus one teenager who just entered the Air Force, so she wasn't ready to die yet. She is really a fighter and she always is an inspiration to me. She is an amputee and works full time, but is currently off getting chemo and soon to be radiation. She had breast cancer and is such a fighter that I can't stand it. She has always had the can-do spirit, even before her accident.