Low carb menu

- Quiche with sausage, ham, peppers and cheese with low carb ketchup
- More quiche
- Atkins cheesecake with natural peanut butter
- Low carb pizza with ham, pepperoni and green peppers (from container garden!)

Low carb menu

- Two hot dogs with mustard and low carb ketchup
- Low carb ice cream
- Two sugar free Creamsicle ice cream pops
- Sloppy joe casserole with half an oopsie
- Chicken BLT on an oopsie roll

Moles and surgery... oh and low carb menu

- Two hot dogs with mustard and low carb ketchup
- Sloppy joe casserole with half an oopsie roll
- A piece of Atkins cheesecake
- Chicken BLT on half an oopsie with ranch dressing and mayo

I went to the dermatologist and they biopsied two questionable-looking moles. I had several that I was kind of worried about, but I really was shocked when the Physician's assistant took biopsies on two of them! One is under my arm (on my bat-wing) and the other is on my thigh. Leave it to me to get moles-that-need-biopsies on my two least favorite body parts! I do like my legs, but my upper upper thighs are just kind of "baggy" after losing a lot of weight and my arms are straight up bat wings!

I went to the same dermatologist that my mom had good luck with last year, treating her melanoma.

"We will only call you if it's melanoma," she told me.

In other news, my surgery is scheduled as a "go" on August 23, 2011. Less than a month away! I'm getting reconstructive knee surgery.... They are bettering the angle in which the tibia and femur come together.... which basically involves cutting a wedge out of my pelvis... (And when they say pelvis, I have no clue where the cut will even be!), sawing my femur in half and putting the wedge into my femur.

I'm going to ask, but I'm pretty sure that they are borrowing bone to avoid having to resort to the dreaded permanent-hardware in my leg. I already have staples in each knee causing me issues, so I'd rather not go that route again.

I weighed in at 228.6 and it sucks. Two pounds of a gain! Honestly, I need to think of other things to do with friends besides go and pig out. Why does every social situation seem like we are around a pig trough??

Low carb menu

Low carb menu & weekly weigh-in

- A piece of low carb pizza with marinara sauce, cheese, pepperoni, ham, sausage and peppers
- Dehydrated green beans
- Two pieces low carb pizza with marinara sauce, cheese, pepperoni, ham, sausage and peppers with two tomato slices

226.6 is what I weighed in at.... yay! That is 79.8 pounds lost and a little over 50 to go....

Low carb menu

Low carb menu
- Meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- Two burgers off grill with grilled onions, cheese, mustard and low carb ketchup
- Zucchini coated in egg and parmesan, pan-fried
- Atkins cheesecake
- Pork rinds with French onion dip

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties with two low carb pancakes with sugar free syrup
- Atkins cheesecake
- A few bites of Carb Smart ice cream
- Meatloaf with low carb ketchup
- Pork rinds with french onion dip
- Sugar free popsicle (4 carbs)

Low carb menu & weigh in

Low carb menu

- Two sausage patties with two eggs, fried in butter
- Chicken breast, breaded with Parmesan cheese with low carb honey mustard
- A piece of Atkins cheesecake
- Low carb pizza with ham, pepperoni, sausage, low carb marinara sauce, mozzarella, and peppers

Weigh-in: 229.4. I got on the scale many times this morning and it bounced from 228.4 to 230.4. My lowest adult weight ever!

I'm in the two-twenties! This is about 14 pounds lower than my previous lowest-adult-weight, so that is really awesome. 77 pounds lost and about 55 more to go.... (I'm 5'10'' by the way)... I'm into a size 16 talls, which I still can't believe. I don't think that I have been a size 16 since junior high!

I survived my birthday and once again was reminded that I should not consume alcohol, as I just really have no tolerance for it.... so I spent half of my actual birthday puking and unable to even hold down water. I never really drink and this is precisely why! Sure, I could blame the five dollar pitchers, but really, I know better.

Drinking alcohol and getting majorly hungover was much like wanting to eat a bunch of processed food feels like. It feels like a good idea... The whole consuming part of it is usually an unenjoyable, semi-conscious blur which is the cause of much guilt to me later in life. But mostly, both of these things just make me feel out of control and completely sick. I do realize that I do not have a built-up tolerance to either carbs or alcohol at this point... (Carbs I once had a huge tolerance for and alcohol, never really much of any tolerance). But once you abstain from something for a while and then do it, I think that is when you get its true effect on your body. I just basically hate how consuming either of them makes me feel. I think that you should listen to your own body. We know our body better than any doctor can hope to. We need to listen to what our bodies our telling us because we are the one who has to live within our own bodies.

I just woke up on my birthday with that "Ugh, I'm 29 and I still haven't learned this lesson yet?" feeling.

In great news, I feel like I have more control over my life than I have in a long time.

Menu, wanting to binge and surgery update

- Sausage
- Two pieces of low carb pizza with mozzarella, ham, pepperoni, sausage, peppers and sugar-free marinara sauce
- 1.5 low carb pancakes with sugar free Aunt Jemima pancake syrup, two eggs over medium and
two sausage patties

Avoiding the scale

Haven't gotten on the scale in a while, and I've definitely been off-plan for many days. What really surprises me is how much eating flour and sugar makes my inflammation kick in in my knee. Moreso even than too much physical activity, eating that crap makes my one bad knee (the one with the malunion of the femur and tibia). Malunion is showing as being misspelled now on this editor.

The surgery

After my knock-knee correction surgery when I was 12, my left knee is the one that is more messed up and painful. My surgeon says it's 17 degrees difference from what it should be, which is causing all of the wear and tear in my knee. When he put a bar down my x-ray right down the middle of my hip where my knee should be, it was not even there! It was not just a little bit off-kilter, no, it was way off to the side! This was downright shocking to me. I mean, this surgery went on 17 years ago! Why have I not addressed this? This is what makes me have a one-inch leg length difference too... This very wrong angle on the knee. It has also caused arthritis in my knee, but only on the inner part. This surgery will shift my weight to my other side of my knee, giving me much relief (I'm hoping).

The first priority my surgeon has is pain relief... He is going to saw my femur bone in half completely and put in my own bone from my pelvis as a little wedge to give me back some more length in my leg and more importantly, to shift my weight to the other side of my leg.

Tentatively, this is all going to go down on August 23rd. The surgery scheduler told me that I'm one of their few five hour surgeries and that the doctor who will be assisting him is very top-notch with knees and hips. I do feel in good hands with the surgeons who will be operating on me.

My surgeon told me that I will have the normal risks associated with having my bone sawed in half... such as infection, blood clots (which do run in my family).

In good news, I got the girlfriend on the Hippa form already, so she will not have any problem with getting into the hospital room. We just need to make sure we get her a valid state license before then that has her correct address on it.... or just have her bring her current id along with a few copies of proof of residency? I just don't want it to be an issue. I have heard too many horror stories about people not being able to get in to see their loved one in their time of need because they did not have the paperwork filled out.

I'm scared as all get out of getting the surgery, but I'm hopeful and there are many advantages... including:

• I will experience pain relief! Which is good, because more and more of my day has been seemingly consumed by the painful, arthritic throbs, which is just not how I'm going to live my life.
• My left leg won't be quite as short anymore! Right now, I have a one-inch lift put on the bottom of my tennis shoes and a pair of boots and a pair of dress shoes, but since losing weight, none of them even fit that great anymore. I'm not in a hurry to go out and get new ones (with a sixty dollar lift) when I have this upcoming surgery.
  
• I have health insurance... Pretty good, too... especially for getting surgery. I'm on my last year (before I turn 30) of a young adult insurance plan. They really don't expect a 20-something to require major surgery, so they are pretty lax about it in the plan. But even if was going cost me 100 million dollars, I would still need to get it done as I cannot live with the pain any longer. I have a thousand dollar deductible. I will keep you guys posted on what it's going to cost me, just as a way to document the journey. The good news? Since I'm self-employed, as long as my medical bills add up to more than roughly 8% of my earnings, then I can write them off! They did last year with all of my chiro appointments included and I didn't even get surgery.
  
• My new apartment is near the hospital! It's only about 10 mins away, right off the highway from both sides.
  
• I trust my surgeon.... Dr. R is the shit. He makes me feel at ease when he talks about doing my knee and I really feel that he knows just what he is talking about.
  
• I have the support of my lovely gf. She is gonna be with me through this whole thing.

We are doing some rearranging of the basement tonight and I think the gf doing some scrubbing and I'm going to get down there more to exercise before this whole thing. I will do it at least five days a week. Something that involves my arms, so maybe a low-impact kick boxing dvd. I just want to be in prime and optimal health before surgery, so hello paleo/low carb eating and hello exercise plan! The exercise is more to get me to a good place physically before surgery. Staying on-plan will also make me feel more in control.

The Wanting to Binge

Two nights ago, I had a leftover burger in the fridge from a few days before, and it was so nasty! It literally went bad. What made me mad was how bad I wanted that damn bun. I was going to reward myself with it. I ate the brownie from the birthday-brownie to-go free dessert they gave me and I remembered just how unsatisfying food can be. It DOESN'T fill the void, it DOESN'T make me feel pretty, it DOESN'T make me feel loved, it DOESN'T make me feel worth it.... DOESN'T fix any of it! But I was mad at myself at how bad I wanted that burger. First, I was like, "I can go get a f@$@# burger if I want one" but I ended up just going to bed somewhat early that night, hating myself for wanting it so bad and just wanting to say fuck it and eat it anyway.