I got on the scale... and it was depressing... Not moderately depressing, but really depressing.
I know what happens when I eat so much sugar and refined carbohydrates in various binges... weight gain. It does not take rocket science to figure it out.
Well, I'm actually glad that the scale number was VERY depressing, because it means that I'm drawing the line here. No more.
I even thought when waking up this morning, gosh, I feel "heavy..." Like I have extra to carry around.
Before I got on the scale today, I made myself a promise. NO MATTER THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE, I will get you out of the two hundreds. No matter the number, it's gonna go down... I'm gonna lose it all.... 288.8. OUCH. The last time I weighed, it said 274.0. The good news is that I did step back on the scale before getting back over 300. That would have been the third time in my life weighing over 300, and quite frankly, my bad knee just can't take this weight and the rest of me doesn't feel like hauling it around either.
I could not even find the scale when I looked for it, though, so it had been a while of depression, non-caring and basically tuning out of life through binge eating.
Today, I like the scale because it gives me the reality check I need.
I'm going to be back in the 260's before I know it... (Back in October, I was down to 252!!!)
I know that a lot of this is water weight (or so I HOPE!!!) and I know it will drop off quickly and I am officially back in induction, Day One.
I'm back in the morbidly obese zone with a BMI of 41.3, but I literally cannot wait to report that I am back out of that zone... and I promise to myself, I will be soon.
I'm just so mad at myself... but this time, I'm gonna do better.
This time you'll do better! I know how you feel. DON'T GIVE UP! One day at a time my friend. I'll be cheering you on. If you have the time, update your blog every day - even if it's just a few sentences. It really does help to get you through a bad patch by keeping you focussed. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Angie ... it's not a race so no one is holding up a finish line or counting which place you are in. It's just a path that we all walk and get there in our own time. The healthier you become, the more enjoyable the walk. ;)
ReplyDeleteAngie, I will be cheering for you as well. I absolutely feel your frustration. It happened to me as well. I recently had a genetic test done to see what type of dieter I am. Supposedly the test is very accurate, who knows. It showed that I am a better balancer type meaning I do better eating high fat high carb diet. I am still not going to eat 50 % carbs as the genetic test recommended but I did start eating carbs. I added quinoa, some low carb bread and few other things. I already feel so much more at peace. I love low carb and I know it works majic especially for people like me who have been overweight for a while indulging in carb overload. Not only it causes insulin resistance but it also causes many millions of new fat cells to be born. Not a lot of people are aware but when we gain weight we also give birth to many millions of new fat cells. And we lose weight those cells never die, they just shrink. Therefore it is so hard to keep the weight off. Once you gain those cells they will be starving for energy. And the best solution is low carb diet. However the only downside of being on induction kind of low carb is that when you do slip and start indulging back in carbs your body shifts back from burning fat for energy to burning sugar, from gluconeogenesis to glucose. And your fat cells looooooooove it. It means new energy storage. So are you going to make them happy those fat bustards or are you going to shrink them???? Are you going to be the boss or let them fat cells rule the show??????? I believe in you! You will get back on low carb and lose the weight again! But this time if I may suggest may be start slow, not induction but more like lower carb with some carbs allowed such as low glycemic fruits and a peace of bread here and there, this way if you do fall off it wont affect your weight drastically. What you think? Or you are so comitted and ready that you are going full force?
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